


Malachite Rising

by RetrogradeAries (AriesOnMars)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: BDSM, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, F/F, Femdom, Foot Fetish, Gem Fusion, Gem Pregnancy, Gem Sex, Gemitals, Gemlings, Morning Sickness, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Small Dom/Big Sub, Sub Jasper, dom lapis, unhealthy to healthy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:14:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriesOnMars/pseuds/RetrogradeAries
Summary: Jasper has become a member of the Crystal Gems, but old habits die hard and when she and Lapis are confronted with the temptation of being together again Malachite resurfaces. The unhealthy fusion finds a way to make her existence permanent even after the two unfuse, and Lapis and Jasper are left with a Gemling on the way and the ultimatum: Find a way to be together without drawing out the worst qualities of the original and unstable Malachite or don't be together at all.





	1. Couldn't, Shouldn't, Would

The barn was drafty at night, but that didn't particularly matter. Lapis didn't need warmth. She didn't need light. She didn't even need air. And the fact that outside on the grounds there was far too much of all three around the campfire would be her excuse if anyone came looking for her. It wasn't entirely the problem, of course, but the only person who would come looking for her would be Steven, and she didn't want to get into why she didn't want to be around the festivities. Not that there was much to celebrate, in her opinion. The corrupted Gems were mostly taken care of by now, why should getting rid of a lot of them all at once be something so special? She could have done it alone. She could have done it faster. She could have done it as...

 

Lapis gritted her teeth and pressed her crossed arms tighter across her chest, her fingers digging into her arms. Below in the small, deep pool the water rippled and sloshed at the edges of the dirt hole it was made out of. She shouldn't be angry, she knew that. And she _couldn't_ be jealous. There was nothing to be jealous of. Pain, guilt, misery, did she miss that? Did she miss the knowledge of being the monster drowning another? Did she miss the guilt after she came away, alone, torn between the thrill of everything and the disgust with herself? Did she miss the knowledge that came with feeling both the chains digging into flesh and the cool grip of them in her hands, both pulling and struggling together, and knowing, _knowing_ , that binding and being bound was a shared desire, that without that it couldn't have existed... _she_ couldn't have existed...

 

Heavy footsteps sounded from below. Too heavy to be Steven's. Garnet, then. No reason for Lapis to come down from the loft that lead to the car she and Peridot had adhered to the wall. The other Gem was likely just checking to see if she was still there since the future doesn't always indicate what's happening in the present. And to be honest Lapis didn't want to see Garnet right now, she didn't want to be told to come down and see Jasper. She didn't want to have to congratulate her on doing _so much better_. She didn't want to have to think about what 'better' meant.

 

"Lapis."

 

Without meaning to she sat up straight in the loft, looking down at the sound of her own name. That voice, she knew that voice, so intimately, so perfectly, it resonated in her mind and it echoed in her nightmares, heavy and deep like the bottom of the sea where a gem might be crushed, shattered, reduced to nothing more than pretty sand for the floor where the glowing and slimy things lived. Lapis looked down at Jasper, the larger Gem hidden down in the black shadows of the barn, while the slighter Gem sat bathed in moonlight. She flushed a darker blue at her own reaction and looked away. She was determined to act like nothing was wrong, that she didn't want to see Jasper, and she forced herself to lay down in the hay once again.

 

"What do you want? I thought you'd still be clinging to Amethyst right now."

 

"Are you angry about that?" The grin in Jasper's voice was so obvious it was nearly obscene. Lapis wanted to scream at her and the water bubbled as if it was boiling down below.

 

"I'm not angry," Lapis snapped. She didn't even dignify the response with trying to make it sound halfway real. Let Jasper know she was unwanted, let her feel miserable too. Lapis wanted her to feel as bad as she felt. She'd force her to, if she could. She wished she could. If Jasper could take the hint she chose not to and the wooden ladder below groaned with the weight of the huge Gem. For a moment Lapis was torn. Should she leave her spot that she didn't really like anyway and retreat to where Jasper couldn't follow, or attempt to stay where she was and pretend she didn't notice the huge figure? For the moment she chose the latter, but she was ready to move if she had to.  Jasper came up, gripping the wood of the loft floor like she was going to claw her way through it. Her grin too big, her posture too eager as she leaned over Lapis. That smile would look better with fangs, eyeteeth elongated and ready to sink into anything that opposed the owner... Lapis blushed again and looked away.

 

"You look angry," Jasper said, and in a softer tone of voice it might have been teasing. As it was it made Lapis's hackles rise and she looked back at Jasper to narrow her eyes at the other Gem.

 

"What are you even doing here? We're not supposed to be alone together," Lapis said sharply, and with a thrill of power and satisfaction she saw Jasper tense and wince back just a little in the moonlight.

 

"They wanted to say goodbye before they left," Jasper said, but even that wasn't an explanation for why _her_ , why like this. She could have yelled that up from the floor, she could have sent someone else. Maybe the Crystal Gems were testing them, seeing if the temptation was too much. Jasper moved over her and Lapis had the urge to bury her fingers in barely-pink hair, to twist it between her fingers and knot it in her fists, to control the larger Gem and force her to do what she wanted.

 

If it was a test she was failing, but she took some comfort in the fact the Jasper was too. The Quartz was eyeing her, her tongue between her teeth, one twitch away from engulfing Lapis. One twitch, one word, and she would do it. Lapis parted her lips, so tempted by that offer, but she shook her head. She pushed herself up to sit again, Jasper's face lit up with triumphant expectation, but that ecstatic light died when Lapis stood up and faced the car to look down to the dark grounds instead. Good, Lapis still wanted her miserable right now, at least a little.

 

"You can tell them I'll be down in a couple minutes," Lapis said. She looked past the car sticking out of the barn, toward the pool and the swirling, churning water. She took a long, slow breath in and let it out, and the water started to settle, the silt falling again. She heard Jasper get up and she felt the larger Gem looming behind her. Lapis considered leaving now, making Jasper be all alone like she was before, but instead she rocked gently on bare feet and leaned back, and there was a moment where she was falling, no wings, no brace. Just trust, trust that Jasper would want her, that Jasper would catch her.

 

Her back hit against Jasper's chest and huge, warm arms wrapped around her. There was a temperature difference between them, Lapis Lazuli always ran cool but not cold. It seemed Jasper were hot but not burning. It made Lapis let out a little shiver and finally cracked a small smile as she was enveloped completely.

 

No, not completely. Not yet.

 

Held in her arms Lapis was faced with how big Jasper really was. The larger Gem had to stoop down to get her face anywhere near Lapis's, and when Jasper nuzzled into Lapis's dark hair the lithe Gem reached up to cup her cheek and keep her close. Lapis's other hand went down to the arm circling her waist, the markings there that had gotten warped from her corruption, but the skin was still smooth. It made Lapis wonder how that new marbling on her arm would affect other patterns. She was so close to giving in it was hard to believe they were still separate beings. Jasper nudged closer and murmured low into Lapis's hair, "Her name was Ametrine."

 

The nice moment was broken and Lapis jerked away. Or rather, she tried to. She was still wrapped up in Jasper's arms, but this time she felt trapped, and she jerked her arm back to hit the soldier hard in the stomach with her elbow, "Let me go!"

 

"No," Jasper chuckled low against her hair. It sounded like she hadn't even registered the hit.

 

"I don't want to hear about her," Lapis snapped and looked away. Jasper didn't pull her up, she could, but instead the larger Gem sunk down a little more, her lips against the back of Lapis's neck, her forehead resting on the soft navy hair, her gem just barely touching blue skin. The prolonged intimacy of the moment made Lapis still and she grumbled as she slowly pressed back into the attention again, letting Jasper slowly adore her. "Why do you try to make me angry?"

 

"I like when you're angry," Jasper muttered  against the nape of Lapis's neck. The warm breath on her skin made the smaller Gem shiver again and she tilted her head forward.

 

"No, you like when I hurt you," Lapis said. Jasper's attentions didn't pause, that wasn't news to her. But the Quartz did pause when Lapis continued, "I can do that without being angry."

 

Lapis heard enough about Ametrine before she left. She hadn't heard the name, but she heard Steven going on about how big she was, how destructive. She heard Peridot offer the assumption that the mild earthquake they had felt during the day had been from the power of a combined Quartz attack. She had seen how easily Amethyst and Jasper touched each other afterwards around the campfire. She hadn't wanted to know any more. Lapis hadn't assumed Jasper would never be that close to another Gem, she just hadn't thought she'd have it shoved in her face and be expected to be happy about what felt like a personal loss.

 

"We're not supposed to be like this," Lapis sighed. With Jasper going still it was easier for her to think clearly. They had both agreed to the terms the Crystal Gems put forth. Jasper had to control herself, and the two of them couldn't bring back Malachite. She was dangerous, angry, and beyond destructive. She was a monster. She was too strong, too unhinged, too powerful--a Lapis Lazuli's ability to rend a planet apart and a Quartz's need to _fight_ and _win_. It was a much easier agreement when Jasper wasn't so close and when they weren't alone.

 

"We're not fusing," Jasper retorted. She moved again, the marbled arm letting go of Lapis's middle to slide down over her skirt and down her leg, pulling the fabric up to touch over cool blue skin. Lapis sighed again and closed her eyes. She felt Jasper's head move down, her teeth grazing against the back of her neck to bite and tug at the ribbon tied at her nape. It was an option, physical intimacy was different from a fusion and not something they were denied. It was intense but fleeting, it would at least be _something_ for them, but...

 

"This won't be enough," Lapis said it so softly, it was almost only a thought.

 

"I know," Jasper growled low, letting go of the ribbon between her teeth and Lapis turned to look up at her. There were voices outside and Lapis smiled sadly as she reached up to tug her top back into place.

 

"You've been here too long, I bet everyone's getting worried," Lapis said. Jasper's hand was still under her skirt, her warm hand too large on her thigh, but Lapis didn't try to make her stop. She wanted this too much, too badly, and Jasper's own desire radiated off of her like waves of heat. It was intoxicating, but it was wrong. They couldn't. They shouldn't.

 

"I'll meet you at the beach at midnight," Lapis whispered before she stepped back, wings surging from her gem so she could flutter to the ground below, tying the ribbon back behind her neck as she went.

 

They would.


	2. Light on the Water

Everything about the beach was cold. A chill followed the air as it blew past Lapis and rippled her skirt around her knees. The sound of the waves crashing sent a shiver through her spine. There was no moonlight on the sand to chase away the deep blues and purples of the night. And, like a veil drawn to keep her isolated and secure, the weather had turned to a light rain during the few hours when the Crystal Gems left the barn and when Lapis touched down on the sands of the beach. It wouldn't last long, the only evidence of the rain would be the little pockmarks in the sand come morning, but it was more than enough to remind Lapis of a struggle in the sea, of chains forged from water and then ice as Malachite came into her own unique abilities. Pulling, submerging, controlling, rending herself apart but forcing herself to be whole, a storm contained within a single body barely tethered together.

 

In that night of cold, dark, damp memories Jasper didn't belong. She was brightly colored, too warm for these dark waters, too impatient for the gentle rain and churning waves, too eager to be anything but the present or to care about anything but the immediate. Her heavy footprints had scuffed up and marred the sands, although the rain was already washing away some of them. Her hair was slicked down as much as it could be from the water, a darker shade of pink from neither being fluffed out nor able to shine brightly in the light. When Lapis reached the larger Gem and she touched her back Jasper was cold to the touch, chilled down to the core in a way that would have had a human scrambling for a home to hide in. Jasper startled at the touch but Lapis only smiled. The soldier wasn't used to being snuck up on, but here Lapis was in complete control. The waters, and to some extent the beach, were hers. She could walk on them completely silently, and any noise she might have made would have been covered up by the waves and wind.

 

"How long have you been you here?" Lapis asked as she touched along Jasper's arm down to the warped pattern on her forearm. In the darkness it was almost completely unnoticeable. There were no bumps on her skin and no feeling of scars, not like on Peridot's knees and elbows where her limb enhancers had never _quite_ managed a seamless joint. The coldness was alien to her, though. She liked the way Jasper normally felt.

 

"I couldn't wait for  midnight," Jasper said. She had lost her shock at Lapis's sudden appearance and hooked a hand under a thin blue arm and around Lapis's bare waist and pulled the other Gem up easily to rest her forehead in the crook of Lapis's neck. She was pressed close, enough for Lapis to feel that at least Jasper's breath was still warm as she sighed against her chest, but just a hair away from nuzzling her gem against cool blue skin. "I came out a little after we got back, called it patrol."

 

"I'm a bad influence if you've been lying to them already," Lapis didn't smile as she said it, sliding her arms around Jasper's neck and burying her fingers in heavy, wet hair.

 

"It's not like I could have told them the truth," Jasper muttered into Lapis's neck. She moved her hands, the one wrapped around the smaller Gem's waist sliding down to hold her under the slight swell of her ass, and the other traveling from under Lapis's arm to her chest, down her bare belly, along her hip.

 

"That's true..." Lapis sighed. She nuzzled into Jasper's wet hair, smelling the rain and the salt of the sea, feeling water just a few degrees away from being ice under her lips. Was that real, though? Was Lapis chilling it down too much, almost frosting it over with a cold, constant desire? Or was Malachite somehow aware even like this, separate but so close to being whole again, her ice reaching out like clawing hands ready to freeze the moment she was herself again?

 

"And it's not like they need it," Jasper growled, anger in her voice and in her kiss when she tilted her head up to press her lips against Lapis. Her mouth was cold, too cold, but as Lapis held her closer and allowed Jasper to press the kiss deeper there was a warmth there. The cold glossed it over, but her anger was there at being told what she could and couldn't do, her desire smoldering deep and waiting, waiting for this moment to start kindling again. Her hand continued to wander, moving over Lapis's thigh and knee, to the hem of her skirt to push the fabric up and touch over hidden skin. The suddenness of the touch and the warmth already flowing back into Jasper's fingers and tongue made Lapis gasp, but she didn't make any more noise than that as Jasper claimed her mouth again, harder this time, desperate to continue for fear Lapis would push her away, and Lapis became acutely aware of how much trust she was putting into Jasper in that moment. She was settled in her arm, her wings tucked away but her feet off the ground, high up enough falling would be embarrassing and aggravating. Jasper could drop her out of malice, or she could simply forget which hand was holding her up and which she could use to fondle the ocean Gem.

 

But Lapis knew she wouldn't. Maybe that was trust, maybe it was something darker. She didn't care. Jasper's fingers slid between her legs and pressed against Lapis intimately and in encouragement Lapis twisted the wet locks of Jasper's hair around her fingers and pulled hard on them. She forced the larger Gem's head back a little more and kissed her harder, ripping control from her, forcing her tongue and her moan into the soldier's mouth as Jasper's fingers curled and pressed against her, finding a wetness that had nothing to do with the sea or the rain and making Lapis shudder in pleasure.

 

As if that was a challenge to escalate Lapis broke the kiss, pulling back suddenly enough Jasper's lips were still parted, her eyes still closed. She tugged on wet, pink hair again and moved Jasper as though she were little more than a plaything to pose as she liked, moving her head again and looking down into yellow, hazy eyes. With a thrill Lapis saw more than lust in that gaze. There was desire, certainly, and need, and want, but there was more than that. There was that same trust Lapis felt herself, that knowledge that she could be shoved aside easily. There was devotion, a desire to kneel down, to let another take command, that quiet plea _Tell me what to do for you_ that went against everything in Jasper's nature to fight, win, conquer. And this, this went against Lapis's natural leanings as well, but in a way that made her feel amazing, as though even a Diamond would look at her and tremble as she sang the Lazuli's praises. With a tenderness that seemed out of place for their embrace she leaned in to brush her lips against the hard edge of Jasper's gem. The soldier gasped, shuddered, and held Lapis closer, and in return Lapis pressed a kiss to her gem firmly as she let go of her hair. She didn't need a leash when she could rule her like this.

 

The moment dragged out, and only ended when Lapis wanted Jasper to remember herself enough to move the fingers within her that she had stilled. She smiled down at Jasper-- _her_ Jasper, and the thought that she could own this Gem more easily and more completely than some Gems owned a Pearl made her laugh softly. Lapis brushed away wet bangs from Jasper's face and moved her lips to the darker slice of her markings on her cheek, an intimate detail learned through Malachite that these places were more tender than the others on Jasper's body. Pain could be more intense, and as she licked a stray droplet of rain from the stripe it was evident that pleasure could be as well. Jasper moaned, a surprisingly small sound from a Gem as large and eager as she was, and she tucked her face into the crook of Lapis's neck again. This time she pressed close to her, her warm gem biting into cold skin--this part of her would always be warm, no matter how cold her body became, and until this gem was broken to bits it would hold desire and heat forever. Lapis moved her hand again and she held around Jasper's neck firmly, forcing her to bury her face and her gem against her neck, gasping encouragement as she was stretched and invaded by warm, thick fingers in a way that just made her want _more_.

 

"Besides, I'm not the only one lying," the soldier murmured against cool blue skin. Lapis almost missed the words, too wrapped up in her own wants, her own desires, Jasper's fingers making her toes curl as her feet  dangled above the sand in their close embrace. Jasper kissed Lapis's neck, her chest, nipping and tugging at her top with a disappointed growl as she kept her gem pressed against wet blue skin. Lapis could disperse that part of her form, dispel her clothing in a shower of white glittering light and be bare before her, but part of her liked Jasper's indignant whining at not getting what she wanted right at that moment. Jasper still spoke too low, her voice almost drowned out by the rain around them, "You weren't honest with them. They think you lost control."

 

"I did," Lapis muttered. If the topic could have cooled her desire she was too far gone for it to do that now. As Jasper's fingers curled inside of her the soldier found a place within her, slick and rippled like mild ocean waves, that made Lapis arch her back and gasp. The sound was only an encouragement and Jasper continued as if those desperate, needy sounds were a prize to be won, coaxing Lapis from gasping and whimpering to trying to stifle her moans in Jasper's hair.

 

"Not of me," Jasper purred and she pressed a kiss to Lapis's throat, parting her lips to graze her teeth against blue skin.

 

"That, aah..." Lapis trembled, baring her neck and fisting her hand in Jasper's hair again, twisting it to pull the larger Gem away enough so she could kiss her mouth, her striped cheek, her gem, "That sounds like a reason we shouldn't do this."

 

"I want to," Jasper said, her voice determined, her hand still moving. Lapis opened her mouth to reply but Jasper kissed her hard and her response, for the moment, was drowned under the other Gem's need and her own building climax. She moaned against the soldier's mouth, pulling her hair harder than she intended, spreading her legs and no longer worried about the risk of overbalancing and falling. Jasper held her closer, moved her fingers inside of her more deliberately, stroking, rubbing, charming that hidden spot inside of Lapis until the smaller gem arched her back as she reached the peak of pleasure. Lapis cried out for Jasper as the sea surged and rose in wild waves before crashing to the shore and enveloping it completely. As Lapis slowly came back to herself she held Jasper close, slumped on her shoulder and stroking through wet hair as she curled her toes in the icy water.

 

"So do I," Lapis smiled. She touched along Jasper's cheek, tracing along her markings slowly at first, and then the striations those markings would take later.

 

"That's all the reason I need," Jasper said low before she kissed Lapis again, her own physical need forgotten in the wake of Lapis's pleasure and the promise of something greater. Light lit up the receding water on the beach, small at first but then growing, the water and wetness of the surroundings reflecting and making the whole scene one dazzling, blinding display of white.

 

As it faded Malachite rose.


	3. Self Destruction

One hand dangled off the ice float, dipped into the water, supercooling the saltwater in the ocean to wreak havoc on the seafloor. What happened beyond that point didn't interest her that much, she simply enjoyed the ability to do it. Nothing to stop her, no one to chide her. Pure freedom. Pure, blissful, perfect freedom--to do whatever she liked, whenever, caked in a sheet of ice and surrounded by water. Her domain, her Earth. Nothing could stop her on this planet of water capped with ice at either end. If she wanted to she could even rip the landmasses apart and toss them down into the near bottomless depths of the crevices and trenches below and go visit them only when she was tired of breathing and lounging in the air and the sun. That was a pretty thought, wasn't it? She could put everything, absolutely everything, in her power...

 

"Malachite!"

 

She made a low sound, one half a disappointed groan and the other an enraged snarl. A pretty thought, but not one that would come to fruition today, it seemed. The fusion shifted her massive lower bulk, muscles tensing as a jumble of not-quite-right limbs straightened themselves and her hands found their proper places under her. She rose as tall as she could on her four lower hands, her upper chest thrown out and her four eyes narrowing down at the small boat coming closer. She hadn't paid the movements of the waters any mind before, lots of creatures swim, innumerable ones, and sometimes they even break the surface and keep a fin or their back in the air for a while.

 

"Leave me." Her voice was discordant, still wavering between Jasper and Lapis, still with that one piece missing that would make her whole and complete, still without a singular voice that would let her talk without it being a struggle. She narrowed her eyes at the two figures in the boat, Garnet fore and ready to fight and another aft, a bow in one hand although no arrows strung yet. Opal--that one was Opal. Malachite thought for a moment that she could crush their boat and send them down to the bottom with whatever slimy crawling things she had been freezing, and the water around the sloop went unnaturally still. But she shrugged the thought aside.

 

"You need to come back with us," Garnet said. One perfect, lovely voice. One fusion, unmarred by thoughts of this isn't right, we shouldn't do this, I want this, I need this, I hate this, I hate me, I hate you, I love you, I love this, don't stop, please stop all scrambled together and mashed into an angry, confused, ashamed, desperate conglomerate that doesn't want to stop, can't stop, but knows it's not sustainable. If left on her own Malachite would continue on, unstopped, unchecked, until Lapis and Jasper lost control of that physical form in a fit of exhaustion. The thought made  Malachite bare her teeth and snarl. So why not just let her do that? Why not let her go until she collapsed in a year, maybe two, too big and too strong and too erratic to continue for long? Why did she have to stop now when she was just starting, when she was still in that glorious moment when anything was possible, when Lapis still had all the time and energy and imagination in the world and Jasper had all of her stamina, all of her determination, all of her beautiful, unchecked need?

 

"I don't _need_ to do anything. I can do what I like," Malachite snarled. Her voices were in synch, almost a cruel mockery of what could be if only, if only, if only Lapis and Jasper were a little better for each other. If only Lapis wasn't so _angry_ , of only Jasper wasn't so _spiteful_...

 

"Steven is worried about Jasper and Lapis," Opal offered in a gentler, softer tone of voice. She meant to be soothing but Malachite flew into a rage. She jerked her upper arms up over her head, hands balled into fists, and she brought them down hard on her ice float. The ice smashed apart under her strike and the water suddenly went wild. The ocean churned, huge waves heaving up and breaking and then freezing solid in a way that would have been impossible without magic. Her float was gone and in its place Malachite was pulling up water into a frozen glacier battleground, splashes frozen into shards as sharp as daggers, waves curled into cliffs that dropped off over holes in the ice to the subzero water below. The brisk autumn winds caught up the cold air, Malachite's hair whipping, her breath fogging now and then as the two struggled in this confrontation. Everything in Lapis telling Malachite to subdue, just bring up the water, freeze it solid, defrost them later or just let them float in the ocean and melt out naturally. Everything in Jasper telling Malachite to fight, go at the Crystal Gems, rend, tear, bite, maim, bring up her water as weapons, bring out her helmet, smash their ship now that it's half caked in ice to keep them from running away.

 

"Steven shouldn't be worried. He should be happy. Look at me. I'm whole again. Just like you," Malachite sneered and touched her upper chest, but her solid physical form wasn't the problem. Lapis and Jasper couldn't agree on how to deal with this. How to deal with their enemies. No, not enemies, not anymore, their _friends_ \-- _don't you remember--I remember but I don't care--I care--I want to be with you--I need to be with you--I need you--I love you--don't stop--please stop--I can't lose you again_. Malachite screamed, a jarring sound that was neither Lapis or Jasper, something more monstrous, something unique. She looked at the other two again, one of Opal's hands on Garnet's shoulder, close to keep her more violent comrade from attacking--or close for them to become one? Malachite might win this time, if that's the route it took, but she might lose again too. And losing at this point, what would it mean? Gone, forever? Jasper kept hidden away in the bowels of the Temple again? Or perhaps Lapis this time, kept locked up and trapped in another inescapable prison? Rage made Malachite tremble, frustration made her eyes water, realization came to her then. She would never exist again. Right now, this moment, was the only time she would ever be herself. For the rest of Jasper or Lapis's lives they would be separate, singular. Alone.

 

"You're not going to leave us alone, are you?" Malachite's voices were breaking worse now, Lapis talking too high and too fast, Jasper snarling out too low. The glacier cracked along unseen lines and then patched itself together badly as spikes of ice shot up from the holes to the ocean below.

 

"You're hurting yourself, you're hurting everyone else. They're hurting each other!"

 

"So!? Let us hurt! It's what we want, it's what I want!" It was, and it wasn't. Not like this, not when it was confusing and wrong and uncomfortable. But at a certain point Lapis and Jasper ended, and there Malachite began. Incomplete but singular and separate, alive based purely on the whim of the two she came from. A dependency she resented when her progenitors were at such an inharmonious schism. Her life shouldn't be like this... "I won't let you tear me apart again, we won't hide from each other just because you tell us we have to!"

 

"Malachite, don't--" Garnet was loud, firm, her gauntlets forming in brilliant light, and the chiding tone in her voice, the knowledge that through the Sapphire she could see beyond this point in time, whipped  Malachite into a fury worse than before. She hauled her body up, a huge mass of marbled green rocking the iceberg she had created badly. The ice at the edges of the float cracked and broke off and even the ice sounded like it was groaning at having to handle the enraged Gem aboard it. Opal and Garnet had to abandon the sloop as that part of the iceberg tipped and crunched awkwardly, and on the slippery ice their footing was bad. Not like Malachite's, the water running over the ice didn't bother her, and her fingers gripped the spikes and outcroppings better than feet could to keep her steady. On some level, this is what she was made for, if she was a single Gem... 

 

"What is it you see, _your clarity?_ Tell me the future! Tell me how you're going to keep me from ever existing again! Tell me how you're going to destroy me!" Malachite screamed. She sounded unhinged and distracted, and both were correct. A single Gem. Impossible? Maybe. There was a lot that was impossible, though. Steven was impossible. Maybe more than that. What about others--what about Mother of Pearl? Jasper hadn't known those but Lapis had long, long ago. Too dangerous, though, they weren't Mother of Pearl. A Pearl could come from nothing more than a grain of sand, a Gem required a Shard. A Shard could mean death. And through the fog of thoughts running too fast to keep track of Malachite latched onto that one idea, that one thought, and with it her own voice echoed in the chamber of her mind: _I am dying either way_.

 

"Tell me... did you see _this_?" Her smile was huge, malformed, deranged, and she raised a hand up to collect the water and freeze it around her fingers. Harder, sharper, colder, _more_ , until her skin burned from it and her eyes watered from pain. Garnet saw the new path ripped through time, something unthinkable she hadn't put much weight into before, becoming tangible, becoming real. As she yelled at Malachite to stop the monstrous fusion raised up her hand and slashed hard with icy claws...

 

Across her own face. She clawed one eye and drove deep rivulets into her skin. Four deep lines shining with light, one eye closed and that side of her face twitching badly, the other three eyes narrowed in pain, the gem on her face scratched, nicked. A chip out of it and buried in one of her icy claws. Opal and Garnet had frozen, fear and confusion and horror rippling through them as Malachite's form wavered, shuddered, but for the moment she remained. Not for long, though. She gave one last grin to the two below her, she was wild, proud, more unhinged than either Jasper or Lapis ever had been before, and with a laugh she turned her head to bite down hard on the ice claws, swallowing them down along with her prize, mindless to the cold or the scraping down her throat. It didn't matter anymore. She won. She would never be apart again.

 

Her form dematerialized and Lapis and Jasper were left. Lapis had her hands fastened over her face--horribly clawed, but both of her eyes were uninjured and wide with shock. Jasper was trembling, not from the cold but from the effort of keeping her form together a little longer, the crack across her gem letting out a small, sharp sound as it spread.

 

"L-Lap... is..."

 

The slighter Gem looked up, apologies, pleas, begs for forgiveness died on the tip of her tongue as she met one yellow eye--the other closed tight in pain. Lapis slid her hands off the gouges in her face, reaching up with a trembling hand, almost touching the broken gem.

 

"I-it's..." Lapis swallowed hard, forcing the shudder out of her voice and out of her hand, "It's just a c-crack, you're going to be..."

 

She couldn't finish the sentence, but she wouldn't have been able to anyway. In a move that knocked the wind out of her Jasper shoved Lapis back to the ice where the smaller Gem slid a few feet away. Without Malachite holding it together the iceberg was already breaking apart. Lapis pushed herself up and looked back at Jasper--and where Lapis's throat had been there was the tip of an overlarge, glowing arrow jutting out from Jasper's chest. There was a moment where Jasper looked down at it, unsurprised, and then back up to Lapis. She grinned, crooked from part of her face contorted in pain and losing control over her body, and then in a cloud of dust she was gone, replaced by simply her gem in a shimmering, iridescent bubble, a few bits of partially melted ice falling to the ground and breaking apart on the harder surface now that they were no longer contained inside of her.

 

"Why..." Lapis shuddered, her fingers dug into the ice, and she felt herself baring her teeth in a way that made it look like Jasper had left part of herself inside of Lapis. _In a way, she did..._ "Why did you do that?!"

 

"Her gem is cracked," Opal said as she lowered her bow. One hand brushed near the gem in her chest and she glanced to the bubble instead of looking at Lapis. "We're too far from a warp pad and we're hours out to sea. This will give her a little more time."

 

Garnet walked over to the floating bubble and looked down at the ice that had been trapped inside of Jasper's physical form. It really seemed simply a formality with how quickly she looked away from it and then to Lapis. Lapis tensed and looked away from the other Gem, placing a hand over her bare belly, and when Garnet came over and offered Lapis her hand, bare of her weapon now, Lapis pushed it away and stood on her own.


	4. The Future Made Clear

"Why did this happen?" Stephen sighed as he looked at the bubble floating above his hands. This wasn't the first time he saw Jasper like this, although the nick in her gem was new. Surprisingly it didn't look as bad as it was. Opal had bubbled her fast enough to keep the injury from spreading too much--although a bubble wasn't a permanent solution for a crack. It was like the spreading was slowed down in time but it wasn't stopped.

 

"You're not really surprised, right?" Peridot huffed as she looked down at the gem. For as big as Jasper was her gem seemed almost unnaturally small without her body. "It's Jasper. She takes what she wants all the time. I mean, when she wants something you don't mind giving her or you want her to have it works out fine, but that doesn't mean she stops getting grabby just because you tell her no. Actually, I think it makes things worse."

 

"It's not just about her wanting, though. I didn't think she could make Lapis do something like this," Steven turned the bubble in his hands. He almost felt bad about popping it, Opal's bubbles were always so pretty, and with the fusion gone it felt kind of rude to do it instead of letting Amethyst or Pearl pop it instead.

 

"I've lived with Lapis for a while, it's pretty much impossible to _make_ her do anything. She acts like royalty even on Earth," Peridot made a small, plaintive hum under her breath before she looked at Steven again. "You _are_ going to fix Jasper, right?"

 

Steven frowned a little more. Part of him didn't want to, it was true, but that was a guilty part he wasn't happy about having. Hearing Peridot sound like she thought he wouldn't made the shame go from an uncomfortable twinge to a pang. "I can fix the crack if I try, but I can't make them stop this. I can't even imagine them want to do it again, you know? But I didn't even know it was going to get this bad, I didn't think one of them would actually get this hurt. What if it happens again? What if it happens to Lapis next time?"

 

Peridot hummed under her breath again as she thought but she didn't answer.

 

* * *

 

Lapis sat on the rail of the lighthouse, looking over the cliff and the sea. It was as far away as she could justify being from the rest. From her perch she could just barely see what was left of the glacier breaking apart in the waves. The beach below was more obvious, the cold fall air wasn't helping the iced over sand melt and the citizens of Beach City who weren't currently at work were picking at and kicking the abnormal ground. She couldn't hear them from where she was but Lapis wondered if they were trying to figure out how to get rid of the blemishes on their cold beach. She looked away from the beach and down to the grass below, most of it yellowed and dried now, dying back for the winter. Winter was such an odd time, everything quiet and hibernating, or outright dead, but it was generally agreed upon that the grounds were lovely adorned with crystallized water and that it was better to be close with friends. And family...

 

Lapis touched her bare belly at the thought. Even from the size of Malachite's gem the chip had been so tiny. It had been barely more than a shard. The damage it did to Jasper was almost comical. Nobody was laughing, though. There was a slight sound behind her and Lapis jerked her hand away from her stomach as if she had been doing something obscene, turning back fast enough she almost lost her balance on the rail she was sitting on. She didn't see anyone yet, but soft footfalls still sounded behind her. Someone was climbing the stairs within the lighthouse. Slowly the figure rose to the top and came out to join Lapis. There was no rush, seemingly no worry, as thought she knew Lapis wouldn't leave. For a moment the ocean gem was tempted to fly down out of spite, but the thought wasn't a serious one and she stayed where she was. The other came over to stand near her, not beside, but close enough that when the other Gem clasped her gloved hands and rested them on the railing Lapis was surprised she didn't feel any vibrations through the metal.

 

"You're..." Lapis wasn't sure what to say, how to start the conversation. And there would be one, there was no reason she could think of for Garnet to unfuse unless there was a very specific and serious reason for only one half to talk with Lapis.

 

"Yes," Sapphire said simply. Even after thousands of years, when she was on her own, she had that old habit of offering only enough pleasantries to not be seen as socially inept. Petty pleasantries held no sway for a Sapphire, for while pretty words could smooth turbulent waters they would not turn the course of the river. And, for a Sapphire, the destination always mattered more than anything else.

 

"There isn't much of a point to talking to you, is there?" Lapis asked, harsher than she meant to, but she had known a Sapphire other than this one once in Blue Diamond's court and she didn't bother to apologize. That same lack of care for kind words was applied to things said to one of those royal Gems in addition to the things they said to others. She wouldn't care, and taking the time to ask for forgiveness would simply waste time for both of them.

 

"If the only purpose of a journey is the destination, then no," Sapphire said calmly. There was no anger in her voice. There wasn't much of anything, really. It was simply truth, as solid as stone, as clear as crystal. Pure and untarnished. Maybe this was why Garnet wasn't here, she could feel pride, joy, anger, everything, and she didn't hide any of them although they could appear to be muted when filtered through Sapphire's ancient control. Sapphire continued in the same soft voice, "I can tell you where you will end up, if that's all you want to know."

 

"It's not," Lapis answered. She didn't want to know where she would end up, not yet. She didn't want her decisions told to her.

 

"Then there's more to this journey than simply the ending, isn't there?" Sapphire smiled a little as she turned her half-hidden face up to Lapis. "Tell me why you wish to keep the Malachite within you safe."

 

"I didn't say I did," Lapis startled and gripped the railing under her harder. It was true she hadn't put any thought into getting rid of the shard within her, but she hadn't put any thought into how she would proceed with it either.

 

"We both know you're planning to." Sapphire said, and Lapis couldn't shake off the knowledge that as soon as she heard the words she knew they were right.

 

"Why is it..." Lapis tensed and gripped the railing hard again, and then, slowly, she relaxed her grip and she slumped carefully. She shifted to fold her arms around her middle, both hiding and protecting her belly. "Why is it so much easier for you?"

 

"It isn't always easy. But I understand what you're asking," Sapphire turned to look back to the sea as she spoke, her words coming out slow as though she didn't need to hurry, not when she knew what would come in the future and when it would meet her. "Ruby and I took a long time getting to know one another first. I knew her intimately before I was a singular being with her. I knew her moods, when her anger was at nothing, and she knew when I would be feeling more than I would show. Even now there are times we falter."

 

Lapis didn't mention that it didn't look like they ever faltered. She didn't tell her the jealousy that she felt towards Sapphire and Ruby when she sat and thought about them as individuals for too long. She was sure she didn't have to and as she looked from the clarity to the ocean again she knew she was right. Ruby and Sapphire were perfect, they way they meshed together was seamless, and when they were apart it actually looked as though the two original Gems were simply afterthoughts. It was as though Ruby and Sapphire weren't supposed to exist independently, it was Garnet that was real and it was Garnet that should have been standing beside Lapis. It was _her_ , perfect and beautiful and singular... that Lapis wouldn't have been able to stand seeing in this moment. That was why Sapphire was here, alone, because Lapis wouldn't have been able to stand looking at a fusion that was everything Malachite wasn't. Lapis would never be like Garnet, but right now she could glance back to Sapphire and see another Gem she was like. A member of the old court of Blue Diamond. A Gem who's abilities were both desired and feared. There were differences, of course, Sapphire came from an ancient royal line that demanded dignity and grace, Lapis's own status had been more relaxed, but it wasn't as though the Gem beside her was something Lapis saw as an unobtainable goal.

 

Sapphire tilted her head as though she could hear Lapis's thoughts and she spoke softly as a cold breeze drifted by, "Perhaps carrying Malachite will be good for you."

 

"Why's that?" Lapis asked. Her anger was gone now, she was tired and she was becoming aware of the aches in her body now that she was letting herself relax. Her face didn't hurt as much as she felt it should considering the deep gouges were still marring it, but those would heal in time.

 

"While you're carrying her you'll have to be careful of your physical form. You won't be able to dispel it and you won't be able to fuse if you want to keep her safe and growing. This will give you time to know Jasper without the temptation to fuse."

 

"You actually want us to be together now?"

 

"Keeping you apart was a mistake. I see that now, and I am willing to take the responsibility for how things came to pass. I knew you two would, eventually, come back together but I had hoped it would be decades later when the two of you were more prepared to explore your needs slowly. I... did not think this future would ever come to pass," there was a touch of shame in Sapphire's voice and it made Lapis frown.

 

"You didn't control us. You _don't_ control us. If we do something it isn't because you didn't stop us fast enough," Lapis said. They were quiet for a while afterwards, Lapis turning over her own thoughts as Sapphire looked towards the horizon and beyond the flow of time.

 

"I can tell you now, that if you two continue as you are, the Malachite that you and Jasper become will continue in her desire to exist regardless of how it harms those around her. Now that she knows this is a viable option she will shatter one of you to bury the shards and ensure her own existence without care of the Earth or her progenitors," Sapphire said after they had enough time to sit and think. She turned from the sea to look up at Lapis for a moment, then continued and started walking back to the doorway that lead to the stairs. "And please keep in mind that your gem is significantly harder for her to reach."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this point I'm going to be writing on a new device, so my formatting might be a little different, but I'm going to try to keep everything relatively the same.
> 
> And, for everyone that's kudo'd this fic or left me a kind comment: Thank you. Thank you so much. I really do read them and love them, I just have problems replying to people. I get too nervous and psych myself out of even saying thanks, so I know it's rude but it's easier for me to say nothing. I'm sorry for that, but at the same time I really am happy for every kind word and every kudo.


	5. A Decision

Lapis stayed above on the lighthouse for a while longer. It was peaceful up there and she was able to think, or not think, as much as she wanted to. When the sun set and it was dark again she felt… odd. She had left her anxieties a few hours ago, she had simply reached a point where what Sapphire said couldn’t mean much more to her already guilty conscious. She had always been aware that she was the one in control to some degree in Malachite, so hearing a loose  confirmation of it wasn’t a shocking discovery. Malachite didn’t make her feel  _ good _ , but she did feel powerful. But now, with Lapis as Lapis and hearing something Malachite would do, something she would have to do outside of Lapis’s wishes, had made her understand that the fusion really was, in some ways, separate. Malachite had taken things from Lapis and used them, like her anger and her rage and her occasional disregard for others, but no matter how much as she liked hurting Jasper Lapis would never, ever want to kill her.

 

_ She’s more fun when she thrashes. _

 

Lapis winced and tried to shake away the thought. She put her hand on her belly, still flat, and no extra coldness there yet, but she knew. Even without any of the indicators that there was something new in her, even before Sapphire said anything, she knew. 

 

“Was that you?” Lapis asked quietly, but she knew that too. The shard was just that, it didn’t have coherent feelings yet, it didn’t have full thoughts. And, even if it did, Lapis wouldn’t hear them anymore than the cliffs in the Kindergartens had been able to hear the Quartz being grown. Lapis wasn’t a part of a fusion, she was simply fertile ground to grow in, she was a harvest waiting to happen, she was…

 

She was a parent.

 

Lapis pressed both of her hands over her belly, not sure if she was scared or nervous or excited or all of them at once. She was one of the few Gems capable of this, but she hadn’t ever been designed for it. She could pull in microscopic bits and pieces of the minerals the shard would need to grow from raw materials, but it would be all entirely by instinct, she had never been taught the finer points of this, and it was very possible that she would get it wrong now and again. Not enough to hurt the shard, but enough to make it imperfect in small, slight ways. Mother of Pearl ran the same risks, the gems of their daughters could become deformed through mistakes or just random chance, although appearance of the gem didn’t necessarily mean anything about the Gem within. Malachite could be just as good a Gem if her gem was as perfectly formed as Jasper’s, or misshapen like Pearl’s. …If Malachite was going to be a good Gem. She might not be, she might be more like the Malachite who had been happily freezing the creatures in the water below, the Malachite who was so big and destructive and uncontrolled she would run out of her own energy in a year if left alone. What would happen to a single Gem in that situation? She couldn’t unfuse and save pieces of herself, she would be trapped…

 

Without thinking of it Lapis pushed herself off the railing of the lighthouse and jumped to the ground. The fall was too fast, too sudden, and her wings unfurled out of instinct to catch the air and ease her down to the ground. Her toes brushed the grass first, then the soles of her feet settled down onto it with barely a sound. Instinct… if her own could help her from falling, then it could help her during this. She could do this. She’d done more, she’d done worse. She’d passed planets unsuitable for colonization on her way back to Homeworld, if Malachite became too destructive for Earth then Lapis could take her daughter to one of those and let her live out her life there. There were ones with frozen acid to skate on and poisonous fog to play in. There were worse lives to have, especially if the Gem would have as short a life as Lapis feared. Did she fear, though? Or did she hope for that tiny lifespan? 

 

As Lapis thought she walked, her feet bending down the grass quietly, bringing her to the fence around the drop-off of the cliff. Lapis flared her wings and hopped up onto the top of the fence where she gripped the wooden boards with her toes and stood there for a little while with nothing keeping her from falling but her own balance. 

 

She could be spiteful. She could release her form now, rest a while and make her face heal faster, reform with the little shard of Malachite beside her that never had the chance to grow. If Jasper ever found out about it Lapis could tell her of her talk with the all-knowing clarity, Jasper would understand not letting something happen simply because someone else treated it as a fact.

 

A breeze brushed against Lapis’s back and flared wings and she was toppled over the side of the cliff. She didn’t have to do anything, with her wings flared she caught the wind and simply glided down to the beach below. Would Jasper be angry if Lapis dispelled her form now? Would she care? Would she be relieved that the little Malachite was gone?

 

Lapis didn’t know why but that thought was suddenly very important. It was a sharp turn away from the detached worry she’d gotten into at the end of her quiet time alone in the lighthouse. How Jasper would react  _ mattered _ , more than Lapis thought it would. She hadn’t even thought about if the Quartz would care before now, but as she landed on the sand before the Temple Lapis became very aware of one thing: Jasper  _ would _ care. The Malachite was hers, a piece of her gem broken off to become something new. Jasper would either see it as an extension of herself to be taken care of and looked after or she would see it as a piece of herself but not herself, weak and worthless and only good for being crushed underfoot. There would be no middle ground, although if Lapis said she was going to keep it then Jasper wouldn’t fight her to abandon it. 

 

The Gem looked to the Temple, to the door to Steven’s room, and she folded her wings back into her gem. She wanted the few minutes to collect herself as she walked up the stairs. She had to tell her what happened in her own words before anyone else told Jasper what Malachite did and why. Lapis needed to be the one who would tell Jasper exactly what she was carrying, and what it meant. 

 

* * *

 

 

What Lapis had been hoping for she wasn’t sure. A lot of noise, maybe. A lot of sound and movement like there was nothing wrong. Or nothing at all, no one, utter silence as if someone had died. She wasn’t prepared for the soft sounds of Steven playing a video game up in his bed, or the very slight movement of Sapphire smoothing her hand over the headband on Ruby’s forehead where the soldier was sprawled on the couch and using her lover’s lap as a pillow. Ruby jerked a little when the sound of the door caught her attention—the Gem would never be out of her military leanings, and slight disturbances affected her more than big ones—and her eyes narrowed at Lapis. Was she angry, distrustful, or simply confused? Hard to tell with a Ruby, but Sapphire put a hand on the soldier’s shoulder and spoke quietly into her ear, and Ruby settled back down.

 

The ease of their touches, the way they meshed even without being fused, made Lapis bristle. She knew what it was, she knew it was a small, cold part inside of her that was jealous and wanted what they had. More than that, she wanted to  _ take _ what they had, she wanted to be able to have it all for herself and somehow deprive the other two Gems of it in the same process. It wasn’t a part of herself she was proud of, but admitting it was there was better than pretending that feeling came from another place.

 

“Lapis!” Steven caught notice of her, but not of Ruby’s initial reaction, and he tossed the controller onto a pillow in the middle of his bed before he jumped up. Lapis tried to make herself seem as normal as possible, she tried smiling, then stopped when she felt that was inappropriate for the situation.

 

“Steven. Is Jasper going to be healed soon?” Lapis wasn’t sure how to ask. If she was too eager would that look bad, if she seemed like she didn’t care would that be worse?

 

“Well, I mean,” Steven said as he turned away. Lapis tensed, the tip of her tongue caught between her teeth and her eyes wide. Was he not going to heal Jasper? Was she incapable of being healed? Steven picked up a little box that had once held a snack cake from the table in front of Ruby and Sapphire and held it up. A dry, clean dish cloth was in it now and he tugged back the fabric to show the orange gem tucked inside of it. Lapis relaxed and let go of her tongue with a small sound. The break was gone, the crack healed, although the shine of the light on the front edge didn’t look quite right.

 

“I healed her up a little while ago, but she hasn’t come back yet,” Steven finished. He was looking down at the gem tucked into the little bed he’d made and he put the cloth over it again. Lapis closed her eyes and let herself feel the wash of relief, cool and calming, and then she looked down to Steven with a smile that felt a little more real than the one she had tried to make before. 

 

“She’ll come back to us,” Lapis said.

 

“I know,” Steven said with a sigh. The fact he could say that made Lapis wonder if he knew just how hurt Jasper had been. It hadn’t just been a crack, a piece of herself had actually been removed. “I just thought she’d be like Amethyst. She usually comes back so fast.”

 

“I’m not sure she’s ever been hurt this much before,” Lapis said gently. She reached down to take the little box, but she waited for Steven to give it to her instead of just taking it.

 

“You don’t know?” Steven asked, not giving up Jasper’s tiny sickbed just yet.

 

“You don’t know everything after a fusion, even a long one. You just know… what’s relevant,” Lapis said. From the couch Ruby made a small grunt, it was either an agreeing sound or a disagreeing one and Lapis wasn’t sure which.

 

“Steven,” Sapphire said, still stroking over Ruby’s face, but with her hair over her face it was impossible to tell who the Gem was looking at. “Lapis and Jasper are going to have a lot to talk about when she reforms.”

 

Steven was still for a moment, obviously considering it—Lapis hoped he never became so jaded that he was able to hide his emotions easily—and finally he handed Jasper over to Lapis. He was exceedingly gentle, as though in this state Jasper could shatter at any moment, and Lapis mimicked that care as she held the little box close. Sapphire waved her hand, the one not still resting on Ruby’s forehead, and her gem glowed. It seemed nothing happened for a moment and then the door to the Temple proper opened, the door itself seeming to frost over thickly and then crack along the middle with a loud snap before the two panels parted. A gust of cold wind came out of the door, strong enough to blow Sapphire’s long hair and Lapis’s skirt as it carried fat, fluffy snowflakes into the room.

 

“Oh come on, seriously?” Ruby said loudly as she started to sit up. Sapphire put her hand over the soldier’s mouth as she pushed her back down with a soft shushing sound.

 

“It won’t be long,” Sapphire said gently and with her soft smile it was obvious she was looking only at Ruby now as she teased her lover. “I thought you liked looking at me.”

 

Ruby made a noise under Sapphire’s hand that, even muffled, was easily heard as, “I do.”

 

Lapis frowned a little and looked down to Steven for an explanation. Steven smiled a little up at her and gave it willingly, “That’s Sapphire’s room. Until you come back out she can’t stop being Sapphire, so she can’t fuse.”

 

“So don’t take too long,” Ruby grumbled as soon as Sapphire had taken her hand off of her mouth. 

 

Lapis nodded without giving in to the urge to match Ruby’s tone and ask how long was too long. She brought the small box containing Jasper to the crack in the wall and she had to turn to the side so she could squeeze through the opening. Once inside her bare feet crunched on ice-coated snow and she nearly slipped a little on the sudden incline. The room opened up onto the top of a mountain, or at least the appearance of one. If there was a noon in the room at any point the snow would be blinding but right now in the dulling light before dusk the snow was a faint grayish-blue instead of startling white. Lapis looked around and started towards what seemed to be an outcropping she could sit on and wait, but as she came closer the snow suddenly shifted and slid down the incline in a pile of partially-melted slush. It slid down the slope, following a little rivulet of water from the melted ice and snow to feed into the other rooms below.

 

Lapis grumbled and looked around. The terrain was probably fine for Sapphire who knew what pieces of ice were stable and which ones weren’t by seeing which would be falling in the future, but for Lapis it was a chore to pick her way through the melting ice and snow to find somewhere she could settle in and wait for Jasper to come back to her. 


	6. A Need For Change

The sky didn’t seem to darken any as Lapis sat and waited, but she was aware of movement and a change in light beyond the crack that was the door to Steven’s room. It was a pretty space, in a way. Too cold, maybe. The ice was different from Malachite’s, even in the middle of the ocean Malachite’s ice was a dry sort of cold. Here there was ice and frost and snow, but it was all wet and more than once Lapis had to find a new place to sit when the snow would find a way to drip on her. It wasn’t that she minded the water, she would have welcomed it normally, but the knowledge that this was another Gem’s land made her uneasy about getting too comfortable in any of it. As the crack of the doorway darkened to the point Lapis lost it in the shadows she wondered where Amethyst and Pearl were, or if Opal was still around and enjoying her singularity somewhere. Would they be able to still enter their own spaces, or her own space, with Lapis having to have the door opened? She didn’t fret about it too long, Sapphire obviously didn’t and she was the one that could see the future, not Lapis. 

 

As if it might be some poor replacement of nighttime clouds began to gather overhead to block out the light. It grew darker, but never as dark as it would be outside of the Temple, and as the clouds settled over her they started to let down fat, fluffy flakes of snow. As the flakes landed on her Lapis was even more aware of the damp cold. She wasn’t warm enough for the snow to melt on her skin or clothing, but it still stuck to her and dripped down from her hair and into her face. She grumbled and wiped her face as dry as she could and flicked the slush away, then pushed her navy hair back from her face to hopefully stem the flow of half-melted snow. She looked down to the little box on her lap and the snow starting to cover the cloth tucking Jasper’s gem in. Even that little point of warmth was too much for the snow and as it landed on the center of the towel it started to melt from the warmth contained within the quartz gem. 

 

Lapis shifted to bring her knees—and the tucked-away gem—up closer to her chest. She wanted to smile at the way even unconsciously Jasper changed the surroundings if they didn’t suit her, but the urge to be happy, even just a little, felt wrong. As if Lapis didn’t deserve to be happy at anything Jasper did, especially in this state. Lapis moved her hand, blue fingers hovering over the white cloth, before she finally carefully peeled it back from the gem nestled away. Jasper really was so small like this. Too small. Lapis didn’t want her so small, she wanted Jasper huge and dangerous and the way she was before. The way she always was. A blue finger came close to touching along the edge of the gem where the shine hadn’t been quite right, but Lapis didn’t touch her. Not like this, not until Jasper could see her and stop her if she had to. 

 

“Come back to me,” Lapis sighed. She paused a moment, she knew it was silly to talk to her until Jasper could hear her… but it was soothing, and no one could hear her, so she continued. “I miss you. I need you. I need to tell you about what’s happened. Malachite thought it so fast and then she did it so fast… I almost missed it. I need to make sure you didn’t. I don’t know why I need to know how you feel about this, but I do. This is…  _ she _ is part of you. If you hate her I need to know that.”

 

Lapis held the little box closer and whispered against the gem, just her cool breath touching the hard, smooth sides of it, “Please.”

 

The light was low at first, but bloomed into a bright white that reflected off the wet snow blindingly. Lapis winced at first, but her vision cleared enough to see the light reform into a shape. There was still a stutter in Jasper’s form, at first her body twisted, the light shaking and the body built like a beast, a gaping maw yawning wide with too many too-sharp teeth and riddled with spikes. It made Lapis tense and the water that had been flowing down the mountain stopped, going still as if freezing solid, but when Lapis relaxed the water continued it’s course downwards. The moment passed and the body reshaped, a Gem with a soldier’s clothing gave the appearance of not wearing anything before the colors came into being. The uniforms on average were not sparse but there was nothing extra, no flares, no flow. Those things were reserved for the Gems who had the luxury of putting excess into their forms that served no purpose, and even then only when they were under the control of a Diamond who would allow frivolity. Blue Diamond had allowed it. Yellow Diamond did not. What did Pink Diamond allow, Lapis wondered, but she knew not to ask. Lapis moved to sit a little more comfortably, expecting to be joined, but the form changed again. It was just a little but it made Lapis tense. Something had changed in Jasper, something that might be better—but last time Lapis had heard ‘better’ it had come with the implication that Jasper was better  _ without her _ . She didn’t want that to happen, not now.

 

The change was minor when it was just the white light reshaping but as the light faded, catching color and settling into a solid form, it was more apparent. Jasper was mostly the same, her markings in the same places, her hair still wild and long and faintly pink even in the dim light. Her size was the same, big, broad shouldered, but with a small waist that exaggerated the width of her hips to make them more prominent. Jasper had layered strips of wrappings over her hands and wrists and partially up her forearms. The bandages hid the warped markings on her arm and with the red color gave the impression she had just been fighting hard enough to bloody her knuckles. Her bodysuit was gone, replaced with a pair of pants and cropped top in the same dark shade and an open jacket with a marbled pattern of dark red, red, and pink. The sleeves of the jacket were pushed up to her elbows, an odd choice instead of just only having partial sleeves on the jacket in the first place. The sudden change from only close-fitting clothing didn’t seem as strange as it should have, and as Jasper looked around the jacket shifted and Lapis was reminded of the cape Jasper had worn not too long ago. 

 

The Yellow Diamond insignia on her chest was gone.

 

“Malachite?” Jasper asked. Her voice was rough as though she had just woken up from a deep sleep.

 

“Gone,” Lapis answered. She didn’t have to, but it felt better to say something. Jasper looked at her, staring with an unreadable expression, and Lapis patted a stable-looking chunk of ice beside her, “Sit down. We need to talk.”

 

Jasper nodded and went to sit down, and as soon as her weight was settled the ice below her gave a loud crunch and the Quartz was suddenly pitched down on her back, sliding down the steep incline of the mountain top. Lapis jerked and grabbed onto her shoulders to try to keep Jasper in place, and the water around them rose up to coil tightly around Jasper’s arms and legs. In all the soldier didn’t go much farther than a few feet. Lapis sighed and relaxed her grip a little when she was sure the bigger Gem was secure and she nudged her nose into Jasper’s hair.

 

“Maybe that was a bad place,” Lapis said.

 

“ _ Maybe _ _?_ ”

 

Lapis smiled at the irritated tone and she pulled back a little. “We still need to talk.” She moved her hand up, holding her fingers near Jasper’s gem, and the soldier turned her head to nudge into the touch lightly. Lapis touched carefully along one smooth side and up to the tip edge. Her hand went still and her eyes widened. The cut wasn’t the same as it had been before. Before it had been perfect, unmarred, hard and at enough of a sharp point it could nearly cut, but not now. There was a slight indent in it now, almost unseen except for the way it caught light. Lapis stared at it for a while without taking her fingers away, not knowing what to say or what to do. Gem injuries either lead to death or Steven could heal them, they didn’t  _ stay _ … Or did they? She’d never touched her own gem, was there a long indent along where the crack had been?

 

“That bad, huh?” Jasper broke Lapis out of her trance and the smaller Gem pulled her hand back sharply.

 

“I’m sorry,” Lapis said as she pushed herself away from Jasper. “I shouldn’t have—I was the one who—I’m so sorry, you have to hate me.”

 

As Lapis pulled back the water loosened on Jasper’s arms and legs, and the soldier reached up to grip Lapis’s slender wrist to keep her from moving away completely. Lapis waited for the yelling that had to come. She wanted it. Jasper should be furious, she should beat her until Lapis had to release her form too. That would be right, it would make them equal, it would…

 

“Is Malachite really gone?”

 

Lapis frowned at the question. Of course Malachite was gone, they were separate again. Was there permanent damage to her gem? Was Jasper… Lapis blinked as a thought came to her, “Do you mean the… other Malachite? The shard?”

 

“Of course I do,” Jasper gave Lapis the same sort of look that implied she thought something had happened to Lapis’s mind as she let go of her wrist. Lapis flung herself down onto Jasper in a tight hug around her neck and they slipped down the mountain again. This time Jasper was the one who gripped Lapis close and she caught a rock under her foot, something solid on the slippery and inconsistent landscape. 

 

“I didn’t think you’d remember,” Lapis said, glad for the mass of light pink hair she could hide her face into and the fact she didn’t have to explain what happened.

 

“I remember,” Jasper said as she settled her hand on the small of Lapis’s back. She was still big, still warm, and Lapis buried her fingers in Jasper’s hair—automatically wrapping it around her hand to hold it tight without thinking of it. “Was I too late? I thought the arrow didn’t get you. I think it was an arrow.”

 

Lapis finally pulled back, one hand on Jasper’s ample chest so she wouldn’t have to remove her hand from her hair, “You weren’t too late. If I was hit too I wouldn’t still be injured.”

 

Jasper reached up, and Lapis turned into her hand the way Jasper had done with hers before, letting the larger Gem trace the scratches over her face with her broad thumb.

 

“Malachite’s still here,” Lapis said softly. She reluctantly let go of Jasper’s hair to move her hand down and touch her own belly, blue fingers barely touching over the flat expanse of her stomach. “Right here.”

 

Jasper moved under her and her hand settled over Lapis’s, the small cool hand engulfed by her large warm one, her fingers touching Lapis’s stomach.

 

“Do you want her?” Lapis said it quietly, almost a whisper, as though if she kept her voice quiet she could influence the answer. “Do you want this?”

 

Jasper was quiet for a long time, long enough Lapis could almost guess the answer, but it was still a relief to hear the word, “Yes.”

 

“So do I,” Lapis said. It was easier to accept her own desires when she heard it coming out of Jasper too, far easier to confront a responsibility to something strange and new and potentially terrible if she wouldn’t be alone. She leaned in, and Jasper pushed herself up a little to meet her. At the last moment Lapis stopped and pulled back, enough to make Jasper suddenly miss the feeling of cool lips against hers. Lapis wanted this, and she wanted Jasper to want it, but that wasn’t the only thing they needed to discuss.

 

“But some things are going to have to change.”


	7. Consolation and Celebration

“I don’t like it,” Jasper growled and Lapis stroked her fingertips along the Quartz’s forehead. She brushed barely pink hair back from her face as she touched along the dark orange of her markings. Jasper fought against relaxing into the soothing touch.

 

“I know. I don’t either,” Lapis murmured after a moment when the light touches were clearly doing nothing. Jasper’s forehead was hot under her fingers, heat building from anger, and Lapis didn’t feel like softening the inevitable explosion directed towards the other Crystal Gems.

 

“What if they’re lying?”

 

“Why would they lie?”

 

“Because I would if I needed to make someone to do what I wanted them to without force,” Jasper growled but finally she closed her eyes as Lapis touched over the edge of her markings. “Wouldn’t you?”

 

Lapis thought about it as her fingers roamed over Jasper’s face. She touched along the other Gem’s cheekbones and down over her cheeks, across her lips, coming close to touching her gem but never quite. Distractedly Lapis said, “I guess I would.”

 

They had settled in under the falling snow to talk—or rather for Lapis to talk and Jasper to listen—and the snow had started piling on Lapis’s hair and over her body. It was just a small, faint dusting of snow, although wet enough water was dripping down over her face and down her arms. Jasper didn’t have any of the slush on her, she was warm enough it melted when it touched her although that had resulted in more water. The soldier was soaked from head to toe, the water had seeped into her hair and new clothing. If Lapis used her abilities she could become even more aware of Jasper’s body—the size of her, the weight, the warmth. She knew when Jasper moved her arm before she ever felt the warm hand on her hip.

 

“Steven’s upset,” Lapis whispered and Jasper’s hand went still. The Quartz had fought against any affection for the boy, even after joining for lack of any other options, but she’d failed over time. It was, thankfully, a failure that didn’t sting but she still counted it as a weakness.

 

“I don’t know how to fix that,” Jasper said.

 

“We’ll figure it out, we have to,” Lapis said, and she slowly moved her fingers up to touch the marred edge of Jasper’s gem again. Some part of her had hoped that if she touched it then it wouldn’t be broken anymore. But there it was, still different, changed forever.

 

“I’ve been through worse,” Jasper said. It took Lapis a moment to know what she was talking about.

 

“No, you haven’t,” Lapis said firmly. She leaned down, hesitated a moment, then kissed the edge of Jasper’s gem gently. An apology, a poor one, but it was all she could do. “I’m the worst thing you’ve ever been through.”

 

Jasper laughed and touched Lapis’s cheek, and the melting slush hid the blue Gem’s tears.

 

* * *

 

 

Coming out of Sapphire’s room was just as perilous as going in. For Lapis she could at least now use both of her hands to keep her balance when she didn’t feel like flying, but with Jasper’s weight and size she had a hard time. The ice and slush were in constant movement under her feet, and even rocks would dislodge and tumble down the incline when too much pressure was put on them. More than once Lapis used the water in the slush to catch Jasper and haul her back up. At the door Lapis had to squeeze through again and when she was clear she still had to tug her skirt off of one of the jagged edges of the cracked opening. Jasper took a different approach and, with one hand on each panel, she shoved the door open. The magic and the structure both let out a loud, creaking groan as little pieces of the door fell down with a soft tinkling. Even pried open Jasper didn’t fit easily through the door, but she had a little more freedom of movement to get out. They both came out and once Jasper was no longer in the doorway the door slammed shut again. Frost mingled and closed the crack, then melted away leaving the door as it had always been. 

 

Sapphire didn’t look over to them, she simply leaned down and kissed Ruby’s forehead—but when Garnet resettled on the couch she looked to the two wet Gems, “Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

 

“You don’t already know?” Jasper shot Garnet a crooked grin with too many teeth.

 

“Yes,” Lapis answered the question without mirth and Jasper lost her smile. “We know what we’re going to do.”

 

“What is it?” Steven asked from his loft. Lapis tensed and glanced away at the question. Jasper watched her, then walked to where she could look up at him easily.

 

“Take a walk with me,” the soldier said. Steven looked from her then to Lapis, and Jasper added, “Just me.” 

 

Steven looked at his controller with a small frown then set it aside on his bed. He nodded and hopped off his bed to come down the stairs, and the two of them left together.

 

* * *

 

 

“You look different,” Steven said as he looked up at Jasper. She didn’t tell him that he looked different too. Worry had kept him up all night and he was obviously tired and barely keeping up with her long strides. Taking him out into the bright morning sunlight seemed cruel now, but she didn’t want anyone listening in. Better one-on-one in this situation.

 

“I feel different,” she answered. The boards of the boardwalk groaned under her, handling human tourists wasn’t the same as holding up the bulk of a Quartz soldier.

 

“Is that a good thing?”

 

“No,” Jasper answered simply, and when she looked down and saw Steven’s stricken face she added, “But it’s not a bad thing either.”

 

“You always get hurt,” Steven said, and without anything to say to that Jasper just shrugged. With his hands in his pockets and his back slumped Steven looked too small to Jasper. Too small to be a Quartz, too small for the sorts of things he could do. Even his voice was too small as he said, “And you always hurt Lapis.”

 

Jasper bristled at that, “Lapis isn’t hurt.”

 

“Her face is all scratched up!” Steven said. Jasper paused, he hadn’t been there… but he had seen them come back, Lapis with her torn face and too-quiet demeanor and Jasper held in an iridescent bubble, cracked and in danger of dying. He’d seen the worst of them, the worst of Malachite. It’d been the only thing he’d ever seen of her.

 

Jasper reached down, at this point she was used to Steven’s too-small size enough that if she needed him to be somewhere she’d simply pick him up and put him there. Right now that somewhere was a bench on the boardwalk and she settled in next to him. The bench groaned in protest, but Jasper was used to that too. If humans came as solidly built as she was they didn’t come to Beach City, at least not often enough to worry about making benches and walkways that wouldn’t groan and occasionally crack under her.

 

“I care about Lapis,” Jasper started. It seemed a good place to start, it was true… but once it was out she wasn’t sure how to keep going,

 

“It doesn’t look like you do,” Steven said when the silence when on too long. “Lapis always gets hurt, and you always get hurt, and I don’t know why you even keep doing it. I don’t want you to hurt each other. …I want you happy. I want all of my friends happy.”

 

Jasper reached down and settled her hand on Steven’s head. “We’re going to be. We just need some practice. Can’t do that if you’re not going to let us near each other.”

 

“Just promise you won’t make Malachite again, please?”

 

“We won’t,” Jasper said and she looked towards the shops along the boardwalk. She still didn’t want to believe that they couldn’t, but it was easier to offer it as a consolation if that was the case. “You better like Malachite eventually.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because Lapis is pregnant with one,” Jasper looked back at Steven and was startled at the shocked, scared face she met. Steven’s hand was over his belly, gripping his gem through his shirt, and Jasper understood a little easier. “Not like Rose Quartz. At the end of it Lapis will still be here.”

 

She should, at least. Jasper moved her hand off Steve’s head so she could clench her fist behind the back of the bench. She hadn’t even thought of it, but Lapis—Malachite—had felt so sure. But Malachite was willing to shatter Jasper, would she have been willing to do the same to Lapis? Jasper didn’t want to think so.

 

Steven relaxed a little but he still looked worried. “I didn’t think Gems could do that.”

 

“Most can’t,” Jasper said. “I wouldn’t be able to. Lapis is special.”

 

Easier not to tell him that the bizarre conditions of how Lapis acquired a shard of Malachite. He might figure it out, he was the one who had to heal her, but she didn’t want to have to tell him when he already looked too tired and too scared.

 

“If you go back with that face Lapis is going to freak out,” Jasper chided, and she managed to get a smile out of him. “What do humans do to celebrate? This is a good thing.”

 

“Uh, we can get a cake,” Steven said with a smile, and he managed to relax enough that a yawn stole out of him even if he tried to stifle it. Jasper stood up and scooped Steve up to get him up and seated on her broad shoulder.

 

“Sounds good,” Jasper started toward the shops before she glanced at Steven as well as she could, “Where do we get a cake?”

 

Steven laughed and told her where to go to get one. By the time Jasper was coming back to the Gem Temple she had a squished cake box under one arm and a sleeping Steven tucked in the other.


	8. Lessons and Questions

“Mmh,” Lapis eyed the slice of cake Steven had given her warily. Jasper hadn’t known what most of the flavors were, her only real experience with food was to take something from Steven or Amethyst. She liked eating fine, but she never really sought out food for herself. So with her lack of knowledge and with Steven half-asleep at the time of order they’d ended up with confetti cake with green and white frosting. They’d gotten something written on it in red, but after the trip back home under Jasper’s arm it had gotten squished out of existence. The green dye in the frosting was bleeding into the white, and the multicolored bits inside the cake made Lapis think something was wrong with it.

 

“I agree,” Pearl sighed and looked at her own piece. Steven had given it to her purely out of ceremony, and Pearl was free to pass her slice to Amethyst once the short Quartz had finished her first piece. “But you’re going to have to get used to eating, you’re going to have to take in minerals and sediments for the Gemling or it’ll try to pull them from your gem.”

 

“Fine, I’ll eat it. Right after you,” Lapis held a forkful of frosting to Pearl. The other Gem made a highly undignified sound and leaned back away from it.

 

“No, no, no!” 

 

“You really know a lot about this, Pearl,” Steven said. He was well rested now, although he had slept most of the day away and hadn’t been awake to say goodbye to Peridot when she returned home to the barn, or to greet Connie when she came for training with Pearl. He was up in time to see her come back with the huge sword and a few new bruises and a Pearl Point sticker on her cheek, though.

 

“Yes, well part of it is learning about where I came from and part of it is simply instinct,” Pearl said, giving the impression that she’d like to be humble but she enjoyed the praise a little too much for that. “Anyway, this isn’t something most Gems would encounter, and while I don’t think that…” Here Pearl paused awkwardly, a moment caught by Lapis and Jasper easily, and Pearl tried to press through the uncomfortable moment, “Anyway, Lapis will need instruction to do this properly.”

 

“Step one: Eat food. I got that part pretty easy,” Lapis said flatly and turned the fork back to herself now that she’d lost interest in tormenting Pearl with the frosting. She looked at it for a moment longer before taking the bite, and then she had to force herself to swallow it quickly so she wouldn’t spit it out. It was so sweet it made her teeth hurt.

 

“Well, partially. Human food isn’t likely to have all the requirements you need, you’ll need something more, um. Substantial,” Pearl offered. She was trying to think of a way to offer the suggestion delicately.

 

“Wait, so she has to eat rocks?” Amethyst asked, then laughed hard. “That’s priceless!”

 

“No, not rocks. They’d uhm, be too difficult to process,” Pearl made a face as she tried to keep the diplomacy as Lapis started to look embarrassed and horrified.

 

“So, dirt?” Steven said around a mouthful of cake.

 

“That’s even better!”

 

“Amethyst, you aren’t helping!” Pearl snapped.

 

“What about water?” Connie offered. With as few fights as she had with Jasper prior to the soldier changing sides it had been easiest for her to warm up to Jasper, although she had kept a certain amount of distance and distrust out of self-preservation at first. Now, though, she was the one on the couch closest to Jasper, and the large Gem had to remember not to put her arm down out of worry that she would squish the human like the cake. Before anyone could argue that water wasn’t good enough Connie continued, “ River water contains dissolved minerals like calcium and iron, and it can have impurities of sand and rocks suspended in it. How much is in the water depends on the soil it’s flowing over, though.”

 

“I like that idea,” Lapis said, thankful for an option that let her control what she was taking in and didn’t require her to eat semi-solid sugar or dirt.

 

“You’d have to find a river with the right conditions, I don’t know if the ocean can give you what you need,” Pearl said, then looked to Connie for the answer. The girl gave an awkward shrug and then shoved a bite of cake in her mouth. Wherever she had learned the information on the river impurities hadn’t included a piece on what oceanic water contains. 

 

“That’s alright, it might be nice to get out for a while,” Lapis said. She gave her cake to Amethyst too, but she either hadn’t noticed how Pearl had handed her cake over politely or didn’t care about what was the appropriate way to pass food as she turned the paper plate upside-down over Amethyst’s empty one and squished the cake and plate down onto it. Amethyst, unbothered, proceeded to eat the entirety of cake and plates like a sandwich.

 

“You can’t leave!” Steven said. “What about Peridot? She’ll be so lonely!”

 

“I think Peridot will be fine, Steven,” Lapis said.

 

“Well, what about you? Won’t you be lonely?”

 

“I’m going with her,” Jasper said, and Lapis smiled a little to herself. She planned on Jasper coming either way, but hearing her be eager instead of having to convince her or order her was nice.

 

“What? Boo,” Amethyst said with a frown. “What about patrolling?”

 

“And sparring!” Connie pitched in. Pearl taught her sword fighting, but Jasper had helped with some of the basics of hand-to-hand combat if Connie lost her weapon so she wouldn’t be defenseless. Besides, how to throw and take a punch seemed like good information to have whether you intended to fight or not.

 

“Going to Funland to eat corndogs and break rides can hardly be called patrol,” Pearl chided. 

 

“There was a monster there once,” Amethyst rebuked. 

 

“I think they should go together,” Garnet said, and that quieted the barely-an-argument. “A fusion needs two Gems. Even if Malachite is going to be separate she’ll still need both of you before she can function independently.”

 

Lapis nodded and laced her fingers between each other so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch her belly while everyone as looking at her. Jasper was looking at a corner of the room as she thought and, absently, cracked her knuckles. Even now when the Crystal Gems knew it was simply a quirk Jasper indulged in when she was thinking it was still a very threatening sound.

 

“If you’re really going to leave the barn I want you to at least tell Peridot you’re going, ok?” Steven asked. 

 

“I will, Steven,” Lapis smiled at him even. “I promise.”

 

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, you don’t know everything you’re going to have to so the Gemling develops properly,” Pearl said.

 

“Then teach me. I know lesson one so far,” Lapis shrugged. If it came naturally to Pearl she was sure it would come naturally to her too.

 

* * *

 

Pearl’s lessons weren’t particularly complicated, but she did like to go into detail and explain them more than she had to. Lapis could figure out the gist of them, but Pearl wasn’t satisfied until Lapis not only knew what to do, but why it was useful and what would happen if she didn’t do it—all of that assuming Malachite would form the same as a Pearl would. Absolutely even and equal portions of sedimentary material at all times so the gem would form perfectly round, for example, was completely useless. Pearls were the only ones judged on their roundness, and Lapis didn’t even know what shape a singular Malachite should be anyway. Lapis was saved from the threat of more prenatal information by Garnet stating she’d be the one to accompany Jasper and Lapis to the barn so all their goodbyes should come now. 

 

Connie was first, and she was as sad to see Jasper go as Lapis. It wasn’t so strange, Connie may have fought against Jasper but Lapis had nearly drowned her too. They were both just as guilty of hurting the young girl at one point in time, and Jasper with her hand-to-hand combat training had actually made more of an effort to make up for her past transgressions. 

 

Pearl was after her, with a notebook filled with writing repeating everything she had told Lapis and adding in more details. After Lapis begrudgingly thanked Pearl she pointed out that Connie should be thanked too, she was the one who had provided the notebook—minus a few pages where she had removed her own notes so they wouldn’t be in the way of Pearl’s loopy, decorative writing. The second thanks the ocean Gem gave was much more sincere.

 

Steven came next, clinging to them both as much as he could and wanting them to write to him. When reminded he couldn’t read what they wrote he changed it to wanting them to find the nearest warp pad once they were at the right river and tell him so he could visit them. Then he reminded them that, if the warp pad was really close, they could just stay at the barn anyway and go visit the river instead of staying by it. It was easier for Lapis to tell a little lie and say they’d try their hardest to come back if they could. It was easier for Jasper to be blunt and say they’d probably have to stay by the water and that it would be easier for Steven to travel.

 

Amethyst was last due to her own reluctance and not any of the others scrambling to go before her. Her goodbye to Lapis was clunky and had too much emphasis on being informal, and her goodbye to Jasper was a painfully awkward affair for the both of them. From what Lapis had heard of other Quartz and what she knew of Steven she doubted their uncomfortable attitude came from any sort of inherent demeanor in Quartz, or soldiers, or gems made on Earth. It was simply them not wanting to part ways so soon without knowing when they’d see the other again. Lapis thought of asking Amethyst to come with, she could have claimed she wanted extra protection in unknown places with unknown amounts of water, but she thought of Ametrine and decided against it.

 

Finally they were on the warp pad and Lapis tucked back against Jasper as she waved to Steven and Connie, and they and Pearl waved back at her—with Amethyst looking away and pretending the seagull pacing around on the windowsill just outside was far more interesting. She would have pressed close to Jasper either way, but between Jasper and Garnet there wasn’t a lot of room left on the warp pad and it gave her an excuse. When they warped her skirt billowed up, the fabric surging around her knees, her thighs, and if Jasper hadn’t settled her hand on Lapis’s hip it may have flared to her hips. The touch was warm and Lapis entertained the thought of moving Jasper’s large hand to her belly, but when the warplight faded and they were in the field near the barn she let go of the slighter gem.

 

“You didn’t bring us here because you thought we couldn’t make it the rest of the way on our own,” Jasper said. She didn’t soften the accusation, but she also didn’t sound angry about it. It was simply the truth and Jasper confronted it directly.

 

“I didn’t,” Garnet agreed. She didn’t make any move to leave the warp pad ahead of them. “When Rose was carrying Steven she and Greg had questions for me. I figured you had a few yourself.”

 

Lapis thought for a moment, if she was carrying something like Steven she’d have a lot of questions too, but she wasn’t sure if carrying  Gem of a different type as the same. Finally she looked up at Garnet and asked, “What did they want to know?”

 

“Simple things. If he would be a girl or a boy.”

 

“I’m pretty sure we know the answer to that,” Lapis snorted.

 

“If he would be happy, since she wouldn’t be around to see it herself.”

 

“Neither of us is going anywhere,” Jasper said firmly. The three of them were quiet for a while after that, none of them moving to leave yet. Eventually Lapis realized Jasper was waiting for her to go first, to ask the first question or to walk ahead to leave the opportunity in the dust.

 

“Will she be dangerous?” Lapis finally asked. It wasn’t as nice as if she was happy or not, but it felt more relevant.

 

“Yes,” Garnet answered with even a moment to confer the future. She’d already sought out that answer herself. “As long as she’s a Malachite with ice and strength and rage she’s going to be dangerous, but without a grudge to hold she won’t hurt anyone.”

 

“What will she look like?” Jasper asked. More mundane, like asking if the Gemling would be a girl or a boy. Lapis envied her being able to have that as her first question.

 

“I don’t know. There are so many possibilities, I see her becoming as large as the Malachite you are together and at that size the light making up her form dissipates and ceases to exist. I see her smaller, with a body that still implies fusion. I see her taking after you. I see her taking after Lapis. I see her not looking like either of you,” Garnet thought for a moment, then added. “If the form is smaller she will be stable.”

 

“What will she act like?” Lapis asked.

 

“I don’t know that either. What she looks like will depend on her response to the world around her, but what she acts like will depend on you two. She won’t be like a typical Gem, she’ll be more like Steven. She won’t know what she’s supposed to do in the world, she won’t know how to act, she won’t know much at all other than that she wants to survive.”

 

“If she’s going to be clueless and dangerous why are you letting us do this?” Jasper asked sharply.

 

Garnet was quiet for a moment and then she answered softly, “Because I want to believe the best path is the one you two will find.”

 

Lapis didn’t have anything more to add, and the comment had such a firm note of finality to it that eventually she simply stepped off the warp pad and started to the barn. Jasper followed behind her, and after a minute of walking they heard the warp pad activate behind them.


	9. Last Goodbye

“Well you two still look terrible,” Peridot said with all the tact she could muster, although hanging off the silo gave her enough distance from Lapis and Jasper that she didn’t worry about an immediate repercussion from what she’d said. “But I’m glad you’re here, toss me that.”

 

Peridot just pointed down vaguely and Lapis looked down to the scatter of tools. Peridot could have meant anything from the pile of rusty screws to the bolt cutters. Lapis looked back up to Peridot and simply said, “No.”

 

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Peridot huffed. “Jasper, toss me that.”

 

“No,” Jasper didn’t even bother looking at the scattered tools. Peridot let out a loud, angry sound like a large and frustrated bird and pointed at the socket wrench with a grimace. After a moment the heavy bit of metal started to rise up, floating awkwardly like it was about to fall at any moment.

 

“Have to do everything all on my own, never get any help,” Peridot grumbled as she focused on the wrench.

 

“What are you even doing?” Jasper said as she watched the slow, clumsy movements until Peridot could grab onto the handle. Suddenly letting go of her grip on the silo and holding onto something heavier than she expected sent her toppling off her precarious perch. Jasper reached out and caught Peridot around her middle—one huge orange hand nearly wrapping entirely around the smaller Gem’s torso. Peridot wriggled and squirmed until Jasper dumped her on the ground, even if it was still a good ways down from Jasper’s height it was a much safer distance to drop.

 

“Oww,” Peridot whined and she rubbed her back as she stood up. “I’m putting a spout into the silo, so it catches rainwater. I want to do a few experiments with it.”

 

“The canyon thing again?” Lapis asked with a faint smile. Peridot had made fun of how the Beta Kindergarten was constructed mercilessly until Connie saw it and pointed out that the walls hadn’t been carved, water had worn it down. Since then Peridot had been trying to make another canyon in their backyard whenever it rained. So far she’d only ever succeeded in making mud.

 

“Rainwater has a slightly higher acidity, that  _ has _ to be the key,” Peridot said firmly, then smiled. “And with you I’ll have rain whenever I need it.”

 

“That’s going to be a problem,” Lapis said. “I’m going to be leaving for a while.”

 

“What? Why? Is it because of your face?” Peridot asked. “If you’re self-conscious about it I’ll make sure not to point out how awful it looks.”

 

Jasper chuckled low and Lapis hit her arm, “ _ No _ , it doesn’t have anything to do with my face. I need to find a river because—“

 

“What do you need a river for? We have a pool right there,” Peridot cut in, gesturing towards the pit full of water.

 

“I don’t think that’s going to be enough,” Lapis said with a glance at the pool. The dirt didn’t get stirred up often but it could work. Being alone with Jasper for a while was a nice prospect, though.

 

“Oh come on, you haven’t even tried whatever it is you want to do with it. What did you want to do with it?” Peridot whined, pointing at the pool again like that might convince Lapis.

 

“Peridot, I’m going to leave for a bit,” Lapis said firmly, not bothering to look at the standing water again. “You should be glad, things are going to get… Things are going to be weird for a while, with me.”

 

“Because of Jasper?” Peridot pointed at the large Gem. She never really had much fear of Jasper, not when they both served the Diamonds, not  when they were on opposite sides, and definitely not now. Aggravation, sure. Apprehension, sometimes. But not real, deep fear.

 

“No,” Lapis said, and at the same moment Jasper had answered, “Yes.”

 

“One of you is lying,” Peridot said simply and she started her awkward climb back up the silo.

 

Jasper looked to Lapis and after a moment the slight Gem returned the glance. Lapis twisted her fingers in her skirt and then nodded to Jasper, and Jasper looked back at Peridot.

 

“Lapis is pregnant, she wants to find mineral-rich water to feed the Gemling,” Jasper said, and Lapis felt a little better having someone else have to answer the awkward questions. Jasper was there, Jasper helped, it’s her daughter as much as Lapis’s. And there was a smug little part of Lapis that enjoyed feeling like she was too  _ important _ to share this information directly. 

 

“That’s ridiculous, a Lapis Lazuli can’t make another one without help,” Peridot replied. “And non-Kindergarten reproduction takes too long and it’s inefficient. With the right resources you can make a few hundred Gems, even a few thousand, in the time it takes to make one.”

 

“It isn’t another Lapis. It’s a Malachite,” Jasper said. That made Peridot pause in her climb and look back at them.

 

“That’s impossible,” she said.

 

“Not impossible,” Lapis replied. “Just… very difficult.”

 

“Tell me how you did it,” Peridot said as she dropped down to the ground again to scamper over, “Tell me exactly what happened, this is incredible, if this can be duplicated—"

 

“You’re not copying this,” Lapis said firmly with a frown. “It wasn’t easy and it nearly killed Jasper, and we don’t even know if this will work yet.”

 

“If you don’t know if it’ll work why are you even trying?”

 

“Because…” Lapis trailed off, frowning. Why was she doing this when it could go badly, when it probably  _ would _ go badly? A young Gem, full of anger and destruction and nothing else, was it right to bring that into being? Probably not, but Lapis still wanted it. She still wanted Malachite, she wanted her daughter, she wanted Jasper by her side, as terrible as she knew that was. Finally she answered, “Because I want this to work. I want this.”

 

Jasper settled a hand on Lapis’s lower back and the blue Gem leaned back into the touch, warm and large and soothing even if Lapis felt she didn’t deserve to feel that right now. 

 

“So what do you want me to do while you’re gone?” Peridot clearly wasn’t satisfied with the answer, but she wasn’t pressing for more and Lapis didn’t offer.

 

“Don’t ruin the barn while we’re gone,” Jasper said.

 

“I’ve never ruined anything in my life,” Peridot grumped and Lapis smiled a little. She would miss her little green friend while she as gone, but better without the stress Peridot would cause until she was a little more able to handle it like she usually could.

 

* * *

 

There wasn’t anything to pack up before they left. Gems needed very little, and while Jasper and Lapis both preferred not to go without they kept quiet about the few things they did want. Lapis already felt whiny enough, and if she dwelt on it too long she’d start to wonder why she didn’t have more sense and simply dispel her form to stop whatever madness she started. After a compromise on Camp Pining Hearts Season 3—Lapis wanted it because she liked it, but she wouldn’t be able to watch it unless they managed to find and haul around a TV, so instead Jasper helped her bury it under a pile of hay so Peridot would freak out until she tore the barn apart to find it. Even so Lapis picked at the hammock and made it rock until she wandered to the piles of nonsense she and Peridot had built, and knelt down to pat Pumpkin, and paced around under the guise of looking at everything until she was chewing on the inside of her cheek and coming up with reasons to go and reasons to stay until she didn’t remember which one she wanted anymore. Jasper had moved out to lean on the outside of the barn and wait, and by the time Lapis had come out of the barn Jasper was digging up rocks and throwing them at whatever was annoying her in the distance. A good number of pickets on the fence were broken.

 

“I should make you fix those,” Lapis noted when she saw the damage.

 

“Hn,” was the only response she got. Lapis shrugged, she hadn’t really been attached to the idea of making Jasper do mindless labor, and she headed to the warp pad. Despite all her picking at, well, everything, Lapis wasn’t bringing anything with her, and Jasper hadn’t grabbed anything either.

 

“I don’t know a lot of places on Earth,” Jasper said once they were standing on the pad.

 

“That’s fine,” Lapis said. She reached up, sliding her arm under Jasper’s and leaning against her. It would take her a while to get used to the jacket, every time she thought of Jasper she thought of bare arms, bare skin, stripped down to nothing but the essentials. “I know more places on Earth than you, I’ve been here longer. I’ll decide where we go.”

 

She did and the light engulfed them.


	10. Belonging

The first place they came to was lush and the air had a hot, damp feeling to it. Three hours of walking had brought them to somewhere slightly hotter and wetter. The trees were dense here, and up in branches so layered and thick with heavy blocking leaves it was impossible to see the sky creatures were scampering about. The leaves rustled whenever something small flung itself from one branch to another and the bark scraped when something big slithered along it. Unknown things used claws to get up and down that cracked the thick bark and dropped down to the floor with muffled thumps. 

 

“Why are we here?” Jasper finally growled after the fifth branch she’d broken and tossed down, which had been the second she’d hit her head on while finding a path through the wild undergrowth. She looked up at the high green canopy and Lapis looked up with her. Water was dripping through the leaves, but it was impossible to tell if it was actually raining above the trees or not.

 

“I was here once, it was considered for a Kindergarten,” Lapis said as she looked around at the huge, thick trees surrounding them. There were ones easily thicker than Steven’s room, some even rivaling the Temple itself in breadth. “It’s changed since then.”

 

“Everything’s changed isn’t it?” Jasper asked. She didn’t have much experience with Earth as a whole. Her experiences were limited to war and fighting and on Homeworld of shouldering the backhanded compliments of ‘You’d never know you aren’t a proper Gem—oh, not that I mean it like  _ that _ , but you know where you’re from’, ‘Just think if she’d been made on Homeworld, she could have been  _ perfect _ ’, ‘You may be the only thing that was worthwhile to come from that rock.’ Even now it was hard to shake off the anger at this planet and herself when she thought back on it.

 

“Most things,” Lapis said. She gripped her skirt and pulled it up as she walked through a tangle of short bushes being strangled by vines. Jasper didn’t suffer quietly and as she thought she was snarling silently, her teeth exposed and her eyes narrow, and Lapis felt it was better to leave her to her rage for the moment. “Some things are the same. The Kindergartens are, aren’t they?”

 

“Mine is,” Jasper said, and then after a beat she corrected herself, “Mine was.”

 

Lapis paused and looked back at her, standing on the gnarled and curled roots of a huge tree. In this place Lapis looked wrong. This wasn’t like the barn with it’s blue sky and open air she could fly in. This wasn’t like Beach City with the ocean going off into the horizon so far it looked like that was all that existed. This was all green and brown, leaves and bark and warmth and water everywhere but never a focal point. Jasper came to her and cupped her hand against Lapis’s small cheek. Between their sizes Lapis looked so small, so delicate, but Jasper knew she was sturdy. She knew what Lapis could handle, and she knew what Lapis could do. Lapis put her hand over Jasper’s, her fingers cool even in the heat of the forest and she turned her head into the touch, her marred face partially hidden against red-wrapped orange skin. Lapis looked like she didn’t belong there, either.

 

“It’s a little farther up, I can feel the water,” Lapis said and she pulled back. Jasper didn’t want to let her go, but Lapis could move quickly and her bare feet found the quickest path over the twisted roots.

 

* * *

 

Lapis was right, the river flowing through the forest was farther up and it took them another two hours to arrive. Here the trees blocked out almost all of the light, and the water flowing through the underbrush and between the trees looked black. Jasper had hoped that was an indicator of how impure the water was, but when Lapis knelt down and dipped her hands into it her hands were still bright blue and easily visible. Jasper had been expecting murky water, something milky or muddy, and watching Lapis bring up a mouthful of the clear water to drink confused her.

 

“There’s nothing in that, we have to find another one,” Jasper growled and she came down to the edge of the water to offer her hand to Lapis. The lithe Gem looked up at her, her face half-hidden behind her hands where she was taking another drink of the water. 

 

“You don’t know anything about water,” Lapis said. Jasper tensed and glared down at her, and Lapis snorted at the expression, just amused after so long of not having any fear of the large Gem. “It’s true, you don’t know anything about what’s in this river.”

 

Lapis looked down at the water and moved to get into the flowing water. Her skirt rippled with the water as she sunk down, sighing at the coolness after the wet heat hanging in the air. Jasper looked from her to up the river where the water was flowing from, and then down to where it was going. There was a sudden quietness around them that made her uneasy.

 

“You might want to get out of there,” Jasper muttered.

 

“If you’re talking about the crocodile I already know about it,” Lapis said and she flicked her hand. A small ripple started from under it, then grew larger, growing and pulling more water in as it flowed downstream until a wave broke and roared down as it crashed into the river and on the shore on either side. There was a thrashing and twisting in the water that was almost hidden by the sloshing from the wave resettling, and Lapis sunk down into the water with a smile, “Nothing can sneak up on me here. This is mine.”

 

And so it was. The water flowed only because Lapis allowed it to, the fish swap past her belly and over her lap because she didn’t make them stop, the water belonged to her and she was free to take her time in drinking from it. Some of the earlier clearness was gone, the wave had stirred up some silt, and it settled over Lapis’s legs and feet under the water. She was content to sty there for a little while, and Jasper took her station above her on the bank to watch for anything on land. The time was peaceful enough, even with the animals around them resuming their scurrying and general noise with the predator in the water gone and the river settled back into it’s natural flow.

 

So, when something bit Lapis, she was understandably startled. The water thrashed around her and kicked up silt and mud from the bottom of the river. Something hit Lapis’s shin and then her foot, something small and slimy with spines that scraped over her skin, and she cried out when more tiny teeth sank into a toe. She jumped up and Jasper pulled her out of the water to hold her in her arms. Lapis still thrashed, but Jasper was big enough to handle it, and the jerky, fast movements were just to shake out her skirt and check her foot, she wasn’t trying to shove Jasper’s help away. With a loud cry that could only be described as offended Lapis found the problem—a mean-looking, ugly little fish with sharp teeth had bit down on her foot and was thrashing now that it was out of the water. It was simply too stupid or too focused on food to let go of her. Lapis reached down, grabbed the ugly little thing, and yanked it off her foot. She winced when the fish tried to take her toe with it, but the Gem was stronger than the tiny teeth and when she was free of the little maw Lapis threw it as hard as she could away. From a few dozen feet away there came a splash where the fish met with the river again. Jasper laughed and Lapis hit her shoulder.

 

“That isn’t funny!” Lapis snapped.

 

“You’d be laughing if a fish bit me,” Jasper grinned and she carried Lapis away from the river. Just as well, while it would have been alright for today it wasn’t good in the long run for Malachite. Lapis wished she hadn’t thrown the fish back in the water, though.

 

“I’m covered in mud,” Lapis huffed. She didn’t care much about the mud, she just wanted to keep complaining. She reached up, holding her hand, and pulling in the water that was falling from above, collecting it into a ball that grew in size until she could start moving tendrils of water over herself to clean off the dirt.

 

“Why didn’t you just use that?” Jasper asked as she moved to set Lapis onto a knotted, gnarled tree root. The water had a faint green tint to it, and as it finished collecting the last of the silt Lapis tossed it aside to splash against the trees.

 

“Because it’s not like the river. That isn’t from a source that touches land, it’s from the trees. They get too much water and they let it out through their leaves,” Lapis shrugged. She frowned a little as Jasper got down to a knee and looked over the slighter Gem’s bitten foot. “I wasn’t hurt that bad.”

 

Jasper looked over her anyway, and when she was satisfied she brought Lapis’s foot up to kiss near her ankle. 

 

“Maybe I was hurt that bad,” Lapis murmured as she leaned back against the tree. The bark bit into her shoulder, but she didn’t care. 

 

“I can’t heal you,” Jasper said as she looked up to her, her lips close to touching her foot again.

 

“I don’t care,” Lapis said and she shifted a little, her toes curling and tucking under Jasper’s chin lightly to tilt the larger Gem’s head up a little more. “You can make me forget about it.”

 

Jasper grinned—she always grinned with too many teeth and it sent a little tremor down Lapis’s spine to see it—and the larger Gem bowed her head. She moved her hand to the back of Lapis’s knee, stroking down her calf, to her ankle, bringing her foot up to kiss the top of it. Warm lips moved slowly over still-damp skin and Lapis sighed as Jasper kissed over her foot to the bitten toe, lingering there but not quite touching the place where Lapis was bit. Lapis shifted her foot in Jasper’s hand and the soldier moved too, turning her head to kiss the curve of her insole. With a soft sound Lapis patted her lap and spoke softly, “Come here.”

 

Jasper didn’t need to be told twice. She slid her hands along Lapis’s leg again, over her ankle and shin, one resting on her knee and the other stroking warm fingertips along the inside of her cool, blue thigh. When she was close enough Lapis touched Jasper’s cheek, stroking over the stripe there and moving to drag a fingernail over it slowly. She got a low moan and in return she slid her hand up and grabbed a fistful of Jasper’s hair, twisting it in her fingers and pushing her down into her lap. Jasper groaned at the pull in her hair, but unless she wanted this Lapis wouldn’t be able to force her around with just that. The Quartz looked up at her, breath warm through Lapis’s skirt, and the thin Gem arched a little under her out of anticipation.

 

“Worship me,” Lapis murmured. She couldn’t help but blush at the words, her face getting darker. It was almost too serious, bordering on silly, and she expected to be laughed at instead of picking something more appropriate to say. Jasper didn’t laugh, and Lapis could feel her tremble from her tight grip in her hair. Jasper obeyed. She nuzzled against Lapis’s skirt, the edge of her gem sliding against her thin thigh through the fabric, and the Quartz stroked a hand along each of her legs to push her skirt up to her hips. Jasper kissed along skin where it was exposed, licking and getting soft eager sounds at the hot touch of her tongue, and nipping to get Lapis to tug on her hair again. It was almost too long before Jasper finally moved to the juncture of her legs, lips too warm and tongue too hot as she kissed along Lapis’s dark blue slit. Lapis arched with a sharp cry that a bird above answered to and she tangled her other hand in Jasper’s pale hair to push her down.

 

“I want more,” Lapis gasped and immediately Jasper licked firmly along her slit, trailing her tongue up to the firm, dark blue pebble at the top of it, circling it with her tongue, lapping at it, making Lapis moan loud. Jasper shifted and slid Lapis’s thin legs over her shoulder, making the slighter Gem slide down on the tree roots until she was nearly laying against one long, thick, and only slightly curved root. 

 

“Ah! Just like that,” Lapis moaned as Jasper moved to slide her tongue inside of the slighter Gem. Her hot mouth found just where to touch, just how to lick, her tongue sliding over her wet, cool inner walls, rippled like waves frozen in time, and she was pressed so close that her gem was almost resting on the slight swell of Lapis’s mound. Lapis looked down at her, wanting to watch her. Jasper had her eyes closed, focused on what she was doing and nothing else, and Lapis whimpered as she trembled under her mouth. She was so close and she didn’t want to hold back, not now, not that they were alone and could do anything that they wanted.

 

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Lapis barely managed to get out between her increasingly needy sounds. She could feel Jasper smile against her—a slight brush of her hard teeth against her outer lips—and Jasper moved up to lick firmly over the little oversensitive nub at the top of her slit again. Lapis tensed and when Jasper pressed her lips against it to suck over the small, sensitive pebble Lapis cried out as she came. It took a long moment for Lapis to relax back after it, and Jasper kissed her mound and down her thigh until she did. With a sigh the water Lapis hadn’t even realized she’d been holding up near the branches of the trees came raining down to the ground, falling over her and Jasper and everything else.

 

Soaked from the water, spent and satisfied, sprawled back on the tangle of tree roots as she stroked through barely pink hair Lapis looked like she belonged nowhere else in the world, and there was nowhere else she’d have rather been.


	11. Rough Waters

Days passed, they left the rain forest and it’s biting fish behind them almost immediately and roamed where they felt. It became apparent quickly that Jasper did not do well with mindless roaming, she needed some sort of structure, some kind of goal. But a goal was easy enough to create in the situation. Lapis alternated between ‘Help be find water’ and ‘Keep me safe’ and ‘Keep me company’ and it seemed to do well enough for short bursts.

 

“You’ve never had a lot of free time before coming to Earth, have you?” Lapis asked one day. She was tucked into Jasper’s arms as the Quartz carried her, and while she could have told her to set her down and start walking on her own she preferred being carried. The terrain was jagged and rocky and on Lapis’s bare feet it was uncomfortable, but Jasper had boots and tended to crush the rocks underfoot more often than not.

 

“Not often,” Jasper admitted. She shifted Lapis in her arms, getting her settled into just one and leaning back against her shoulder. She had been following a small trickle of water running at the bottom of a mostly dry riverbed in a canyon and it seemed her persistence was going to pay off. There was a pile of boulders and rocks blocking the way with water seeping from between them and the canyon walls, dripping down into the dry river below and forming the little trickle.

 

“Let me guess,” Lapis said as she resettled, leaning gently against Jasper’s broad shoulder and chest, “You’re going to climb it or break it.”

 

“One of those,” Jasper said, and she grinned too sharply. “Got a preference?”

 

“Climb,” Lapis said, and even if she didn’t have to explain herself she did anyway. “If it’s dammed there might be a lake behind it, and I’m tired of rivers.”

 

“Don’t want to make another friend?” Jasper chuckled as she started the climb up, finding hand and footholds in the craggy rocks. She gripped Lapis closer automatically as she went.

 

“I can fly now,” Lapis said softly. She didn’t want to be put down, but she didn’t want to be dropped either. Earlier she had, apparently, run out of sufficient minerals and impurities in the water she had ingested before. Whether it was natural or a result of Malachite’s spite still persisting inside of the tiny shard the useless water had been purged as quickly and completely as possible. It had happened so suddenly that Lapis hadn’t even been able to hide away to retch up the purified water. Even if there was nothing there she’d felt disgusting, and she was shaky and weak afterwards with little use of her usual powers. She had expected Jasper to scold or mock her, but the Quartz had just picked her up and kept going on their trek. After a while Lapis had relaxed, and when she had recovered she hadn’t said anything so she could prolong the care being given to her.

 

“I’ve got you,” Jasper growled as she continued her climb. It was much slower than it should have been and Lapis pushed herself up some.

 

“Just let me go, I can do this,” the water Gem said sternly.

 

“I can do this!” Jasper snapped back. Lapis sprouted her wings and water hit Jasper in the face hard. It wasn’t enough to make the soldier let go, if anything she held tighter. Lapis frowned and shoved again, Jasper started to bark something but was cut off by a louder noise.

 

It was a grinding noise in the rocks under them that built up the dam, and then a spray of water. Jasper's grip loosened but it didn’t matter, a split second later and the dam was coming undone with an unnatural grinding sound near the bottom of the canyon. Lapis held a hand out and the trapped water stopped it’s churning and surging, but the dam still rocked and when Jasper dropped Lapis completely the smaller gem lost her focus and her hold over the water beyond it. The dam broke and water roared out, washing away the two of them along with the boulders and smaller rocks blocking the river from flowing.

 

They were both lost with the flood and underwater for a while, from the sudden rushing movement the water was stained yellow and made murky with dirt from the canyon and dried silt from the riverbed. Lapis came up first and she had felt a hand around her ankle as she broke the surface, but when she stilled the water around her and made it rise so she could step out onto the side of the river it was gone. The only one it could have been was Jasper and Lapis tried to still the entire river to make it easier for the larger Gem. Calming rough waters was hard, though, and she was looking over it, trying to find where Jasper had been swept to.

 

She didn’t expect Jasper to break surface several yards upstream. She hauled herself up onto the other side of the river with a rough cough and spat out some of the dirty water. Jasper looked around sharply, and when she caught sight of Lapis she relaxed and sat down on the riverbank, a foot still in the water. Lapis sighed in relief and let the water flow how it wanted to—fast and rough enough that Jasper took her foot out of the water so she was free from it completely.

 

“Why can’t you just listen to me?” Lapis called over the roaring river. It felt good to yell, though it would have felt better to do it in Jasper’s face.

 

“Why can’t you let me do something for you?” Jasper yelled back.

 

“I don’t need you to do everything! I can do things myself!”

 

“Like how you broke the dam on your own?!”

 

“I didn’t do that!” Lapis yelled, and as she lost her temper the water surged and splashed up on both banks of the river in harsh waves. “There was something wrong with the rocks, not the water! I held the water back but the rocks kept moving!”

 

“And why did you shove me down in it?!” Jasper snarled

 

“You’re the one that grabbed me!”

 

Lapis was still ready to yell, but for some reason that last statement made Jasper pause and then go quiet. She looked downstream and then up to where the water was still flowing from. She stood and backed up a few steps, then took a running jump to clear the river entirely. Lapis felt the weight of her shake the ground when she landed a few feet away.

 

“Get what you need, and then we’re heading out,” Jasper said firmly. She was still looking downriver instead of at Lapis.

 

Lapis huffed and brought up a large bubble of murky, yellow water and scrunched her nose at it in distaste. She could see the bits still floating around in it, and at best it would be gritty. She unfurled her wings and flew up to the top of the canyon with her bubble of water, and she sat down so she could call over the side of the cliff and down at Jasper by the flowing river, “If you want to climb so badly, climb that.”

 

* * *

 

Apologizing didn’t come easy to either of them, and it wasn’t until a few days later when they stopped sulking as aggressively as they could toward the other. Lapis would let out pointed, and fairly loud, sighs and huffed through her nose now and then. Jasper would take out her aggravations on whatever looked to be the most solid landmark near them and reduce it to a pile of rubble, or in some cases tinder. It wasn’t even that Lapis had the urge to speak up and say something to break the not-quite-silence that finally ended their fight. It was that despite the fact the water she took in was very obviously full of sediments very little of it was actually of use for Malachite. Her huffing was cut short at one point when she felt liquid rising in the back of her throat and she looked around quickly. There wasn’t much for her to hide behind or in, they were a little ways away from a human settlement, high enough north that there was already a thick layer of snow on the ground, but the trees were bare and the bushes were cut low to the ground. Lapis jerked a hand up and swallowed against the surge of nausea with a little whimper.

 

The slight sound caught Jasper’s attention—all of Lapis’s noises had caught her attention but she’d only ever growled in response or ignored her—and she glanced back because it wasn’t one of the ocean gem’s typical upset sounds. She was still for a moment, and when Lapis shuddered and let out another muffled whine as she tried hard not to throw up on the road they were following Jasper turned and came back to her.

 

“What is it?” Jasper asked.

 

“It’s—I’m going to puke—” Lapis just barely managed out before she covered her mouth tight again and shuddered. She couldn’t keep it down, she wanted to but it just wasn’t obeying and—oh, _gross_ , she could feel grit in the water still and this was going to be horrible and—

 

“Just let it out,” Jasper said as she settled a hand on thin blue shoulders. “It’s going to get worse until you do.”

 

Lapis knew she was right, but she still shook her head. She didn’t want to let it out. She didn’t want to look gross and weak and weird. She didn’t want to—but eventually she had to and even with her hand still clamped over her mouth the water surged and she threw up between her fingers. Disgusted she jerked her hand away and she retched again, bent over and trembling, until she was empty and ready to just collapse. She didn’t, Jasper had moved her other hand to Lapis’s chest to hold her in place, bent over so she wasn’t making a mess on herself but not going down any further.

 

“Done?” Jasper asked. Lapis tried to reply, then shut her mouth and just nodded. She still felt queasy, but she also felt empty. Without saying anything Jasper bent down and scooped Lapis up, holding her close against her ample chest and carrying her. Lapis tucked in close, burying her nose and face into a thick lock of fluffy, light hair that had fallen over Jasper’s shoulder when she’d bent down. She focused on breathing, on the sound of snow packing under Jasper’s heavy feet, on the feeling of cold air against her skin, on the sound of birds up in the trees, on not thinking about the grit on her teeth, on anything other than how gross she felt.

 

“I think you threw up on my boots,” Jasper said, a note of teasing in her deep voice.

 

“I’m sorry,” Lapis whispered, her face growing colder as she blushed, embarrassed and ashamed even if she knew she couldn’t control it.

 

“You’re fine,” Jasper said, and Lapis realize then how quietly Jasper was talking. She inched her blue face out of Jasper’s hair and looked up at her, and she was met with a toothy grin as the bigger Gem continued, “It happens.”

 

“No, it doesn’t,” Lapis muttered, but she shifted to rest her cheek on Jasper’s barely pink hair instead of hiding in it. “Gems don’t usually do this. It’s weird.”

 

“Everything on Earth is weird,” Jasper noted. She moved Lapis in her arms easily, bringing the smaller Gem up to nuzzle into her short, dark hair and kiss the top of her head. “I’ve started to like weird.”

 

Lapis smiled just a little at the kiss and reached up to cup Jasper’s cheek, “Too bad me being weird involves me being gross.”

 

“You’re beautiful,” Jasper said with such firm conviction that Lapis stared at her for a moment.

 

“…Because I threw up on you?” The slighter Gem finally ventured. Jasper laughed, a deep rumbling sound that Lapis could feel in her body with how close she was held against the soldier’s chest.

 

“Because of why you threw up on me,” Jasper said. “You’re carrying a piece of me inside of you. You’re taking care of it, it’s growing. _She’s_ growing. That’s amazing.”

 

“I guess it is,” Lapis smiled. She reached up, combing her still-shaky fingers through the lock of hair, it was surprisingly soft and she liked touching it, curling it between her fingers, and if she hadn’t just thrown up she would have put it to her lips. “Let’s find somewhere for us to get cleaned up.”

 

“Alright,” Jasper said. She didn’t change course, she was already taking Lapis somewhere just for that. “But next time try to keep from getting it on me.”

 

Lapis laughed weakly and let go of Jasper’s hair, tucking in close against her and closing her eyes, “I’ll try.”


	12. In Hot Water

Finding a place to get cleaned up was easy, Jasper had been heading to a place she’d seen while exploring the Great North, somewhere she wouldn’t have even noticed if it hadn’t been for Lapis and Malachite and a sudden fascination and adoration of bodies of water. Up in the snowy mountains there were a mostly-hidden series of pools where geothermic energy bubbled up through the cracks in the Earth’s crust and into the water. The temperature of the hot springs were the reasons they were so isolated; the bubbly, milk-white water was too hot for a human—or almost any other living thing—to handle. Not for Gems, though, and Jasper set Lapis down beside the largest and closest pool when they came to the site. She scooped up a handful of water, and for a moment it kept boiling in her palm, waiting for it to cool just enough to stop moving before she reached up to clean the dirt off of Lapis’s mouth and chin. Lapis winced at the sudden heat of it and Jasper took her hand back quickly.

  
“Too hot?”

  
“I’ll get used to it,” Lapis said. She wasn’t burned, exactly, but she wasn’t as good at adjusting to sudden heat as Jasper was. Even so, she didn’t want the care and attention to stop. This was the one part of throwing up that was actually nice, Jasper carrying her and taking care of her without any prompting. “Keep going.”

  
Jasper glanced around, but the snow was melted away from the barren ground for a good few feet and she ended up just nodding and getting another handful of scalding water to keep going. Lapis adjusted to the too-hot feeling on her face and when Jasper finished Laps turned her head and pressed blue lips against the soldier’s wrapped palm.

  
“Tell me I’m beautiful again,” Lapis sighed against her. She felt Jasper pause and then she leaned in closer to brush her lips against the top of Lapis’s head.

  
“You don’t already know it?” Jasper murmured against her.

  
“I like to hear it,” Lapis said softly. She settled her hand on Jasper’s and looked up to her. “I like to hear you say it.”

  
“You’re beautiful,” Jasper said, and she kissed Lapis’s forehead, her nose, her lips. “I want to do everything, anything, for you.”

  
“Except listen to me?” Lapis said it without thinking much on it, and Jasper went still. This could be another awkward period of silence… but Lapis had enough of that. She reached up to slide her arms around Jasper’s neck, the thick soft pink hair warm on her arms despite the cold they’d been walking through. “You need to listen to me when I say something.”

  
“I just want to take care of you,” Jasper argued, but this close her voice was still low, and her hands went to Lapis’s hips to hold her.

  
“You do fine, you don’t have to do everything,” Lapis tugged Jasper down until she could nudge her nose against the Quartz gem, nuzzling lightly against her. “I want to do some things myself.”

  
Jasper was still a little while longer and then she slowly nodded, and she nudged back against Lapis without a word. The smaller Gem smiled and combed her fingers through thick barely-pink hair, and she pressed close against her so she could tuck her head under Jasper’s chin.

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later found them both settled in the hot spring, sitting on a ridge a few feet under the milky water. Jasper was above the line of the water a bit, it started slightly below her bare chest even when she was relaxed and she’d spread both arms out along the edge of the pool to lean back and slump a little more into the water. Lapis was sitting close, in front of one of Jasper’s spread arms, and down so low in the water it was over her nose. Thankfully not needing to breathe made it so that wasn’t a problem, but to speak she did have to sit up straight and strain a little out of the water to get her mouth above it.

 

“Is there anything you miss?” Lapis asked. She’d been turning thoughts over in her head, thinking about what kind of support she might have managed to get on Homeworld under a pile of ifs. _If_ making the original Malachite wouldn’t be seen as horrible and horrifying. _If_ making a Gem this way was seen as anything close to normal, instead of Peridot’s opinion being that making a Gem like this was both time-consuming and resource-wasting being the popular one. _If_ she and Jasper weren’t in two completely different classes. Lapis didn’t exactly know Jasper’s status, but she doubted it was high, and Jasper probably received admiration and respect in _spite_ of what and who she was, not because of it.

 

“Hmm?” Jasper looked over at her, the heat and steam had relaxed her and if Lapis hadn’t spoken she might have even dozed off.

 

“From Homeworld. Is there anything you miss?” Lapis asked again. She sunk back down into the water again, watching Jasper and waiting for the answer. It took a while, Jasper frowned a little as she thought, her eyes moving from Lapis to the water, then out over the snowy landscape.

 

“My Pearl, probably,” Jasper finally answered.

 

Lapis tried to speak before raising herself up out of the water, then coughed and had to try again, “You had a Pearl?”

 

“Mmhm,” Jasper murmured softly, closing her eyes again. “Officially she was just for filling out reports, dictation, that sort of thing.”

 

“And unofficially?” Lapis was tired of stretching herself up and she scooted closer to raise herself up and sit on Jasper’s thigh. Jasper moved an arm under the water and settled it around Lapis’s thin frame to hold her steady.

 

“She cleaned, she entertained me, she was nice to have around,” Jasper’s thumb rubbed over Lapis’s hip as she spoke, stroking over skin that was, somehow, still cool under the scalding waters. Lapis shifted some and reached up to tilt Jasper’s head down, leaning in to kiss her. She wasn’t worried about being too disgusting, the memory of throwing up might still be there, but at this point she had cleaned herself off and rinsed out her mouth and taken a few swallows of the bitter, murky water to feed Malachite enough to settle her stomach. Jasper responded, eager despite her lazy movements in the hot water, parting her lips and nipping at Lapis’s upper lip, a faint hint of teeth and tongue that made the slender Gem want to melt into the touch. She came close, but she pulled back eventually, and sighed cool breath against Jasper’s lower lip.

 

“Did you ever do anything like this with her?” Lapis purred low. It was too easy to picture a Gem like Pearl and her idolization of Rose Quartz, another Pearl who would look at Jasper and see strength and beauty and a Gem worthy of being adored and easily worshipped. And Jasper… Lapis liked Jasper, she loved her, but Jasper would have encouraged that, she would have rewarded someone who idolized her.

 

“Yes,” Jasper murmured low against soft blue lips. It was not what Lapis wanted to hear, and she flushed dark. She started to pull back but Jasper slid her hand over the slender blue back, settling it just below her teardrop gem, and she held her close.

 

“But not often,” Jasper murmured. Lapis glanced away and Jasper nudged her gem gently against her cheek. “Why are you mad? I’m not your first.”

 

“You aren’t,” Lapis muttered. It was true, Jasper wasn’t the first Gem she’d been intimate with. There had been a Sapphire long before the war started, aloof and colder than the one that formed Garnet, with a cruel streak and her hair always kept in a braid. That hadn’t been good for Lapis either, but she hadn’t been so attached that she wasn’t able to let it go when things became too… difficult.

 

“I’m not mad,” Lapis finally said. And she wasn’t, but she was still uncomfortable and she curled a lock of Jasper’s long hair around a finger as she thought. “But I want this to be… special.”

 

Jasper laughed and Lapis shoved at her shoulder with a huff. Jasper pulled her close and kissed her again, and Lapis bit her lower lip with a soft growl. She got a wince for it and another chuckle, and Lapis let go to pull back again.

 

“You’re already special,” Jasper said. She pulled Lapis close, kissed her cheek, her neck, her shoulder, and Lapis shivered at the attention. It was hard to remember she wanted to be cross, even if it wasn’t for a very good reason. “Just because you’re not my first doesn’t mean you aren’t my best.”

 

Lapis relaxed at that and huffed some, but she was smiling and finally a small laugh came out too, “That’s pretty sappy.”

 

“I know,” Jasper said low, and she kissed Lapis’s neck again, nipping at blue skin to coax a small, pleased sound out of the slender Gem. “But I need you happy before I tell you some bad news.”

 

Lapis grumbled some as she buried her fingers in Jasper’s thick hair to hold her close, “What kind of bad news?”

 

“Something’s stalking us,” Jasper said quietly.

 

Whatever Lapis might have been expecting it wasn’t that, and she pulled back some to look down at Jasper, “Are you kidding?”

 

Jasper shook her head and kissed Lapis’s neck again, and then sat up to look over their surroundings, “A Gem beast, I think. Whatever it is it isn’t fast, and it really isn’t smart.”

 

“How long has it been following us?” Lapis frowned and looked around at the snow. She didn’t see anything yet, but she didn’t doubt it. Jasper wouldn’t have any reason to lie about something like that.

 

“This one? Not long, I think it just caught wind of us,” Jasper nodded towards a mound of snow beyond the heat from the hot springs and Lapis looked that way. After a moment she could see the back of something, mottled green and purple, lumbering it’s way towards them just beyond the hill. Jasper was right, it wasn’t fast, the awkward gait was clumsy and slow, and it wasn’t smart or it would have tucked itself behind the hill entirely as it came closer.

 

“This one. There have been others?” Lapis said quietly. She moved away from Jasper, scooping up the water to drink some of it down as she kept her eye on the green and purple thing. Better to get what she could from the water now, hopefully enough she wouldn’t need to worry about it for a bit, but not so much it’d threaten to come right back up. The water was hot and bitter, but it felt right to take it in.

 

“I think there was one in the river,” Jasper nodded, and she moved to scoop Lapis up out of the water and set her on the edge of the pool before getting out herself. “Under the dam.”

 

“That would explain why I couldn’t hold the water back,” Lapis mused as she stroked along her legs. She wiped away the milky water, and at the same time her clothing came back, as if she was unrolling the fabric onto her legs from under bare hands. Jasper put on less of a show of redressing herself, once she was out of the water there was just a flash of light and her clothing was back—although without getting the water off first it was wet as soon as it was on. And after her clothes came her crash helmet, and Lapis smiled a little, “If you want to take care of it, we’ll have to bring it back to the Temple.”

 

Jasper could do a good many things as a Crystal Gem, but forming a bubble around a Gem wasn’t one of them.

 

“I’ll make it quick,” Jasper grinned, too many teeth in a smile that looked too predatory, and Lapis smiled and leaned back to enjoy the show.


	13. Here Then Gone

Jasper had only waited long enough for the limping thing to crest the hill before she was on it. The limp was explained at least. The beast had no eyes, three arms it hobbled carefully on, and from the approximation of it’s empty shoulder was a large gash studded with uneven teeth. When Jasper hit it the gash ripped open wide and the fusion monster screamed from it. It was an extremely wrong sight to watch the creature claw it’s way around in the snow once it was thrown back. It looked as though it didn’t even know which way was up for it. Jasper didn’t wait for it to get resituated and she hit it hard on the side opposite the mouth. The powrful hit sent it tumbling through the snow and into one of the bubbling pools. The creature screamed again as it sunk down in the scalding water. Jasper came to the edge of the pool and frowned down into the milky water. It was bubbling, but no more than the natural boiling did, and the creature didn’t seem to be surfacing again.

 

“Is that it?” Jasper growled low in distaste at the pool.

 

“No,” Lapis called out. Jasper turned to look back at her and Lapis waved to the pools. “They’re connected, I can feel it. It’s underwater somewhere.”

 

“I’m not going to be able to find it in that, I can’t see through it,” Jasper nodded to the opaque water. “Do you know where it is?”

 

Lapis frowned for a moment, feeling in the water, and slowly she shook her head, “There’s too much. There’s too many minerals in the water, and there’s too much movement. I can’t pinpoint it.”

 

“It came here for a reason,” Jasper said as she started walking around the pools to look for any movement in the water that might speak to the beast coming back up. “It’ll come back up for the same reason.”

 

Lapis frowned and started to stand—and as though the movement triggered it a malformed hand shot out of the water and clasped her ankle hard. She yelped and stumbled as the thing tried to drag her in, but Lapis reached down and held out her hand, tightening it into a fist, and as the water went suddenly still there was a garbled sound just barely hidden under the water. The thing was screaming as the water around it squeezed and constricted. Lapis could have handled this on her own before, but now using her abilities against a struggling, thrashing thing she was getting tired faster than she should have. When she yanked her foot out of the grip she stumbled and nearly let the beast go again. She was still tired from being sick before and before she could lose the thing under the water she pulled hard, raising the water up in a white wave that crashed on the snowbanks nearby and instantly melted the white powder down into a muddy mess.

 

“Jasper!” Lapis called, and it was entirely unnecessary. Jasper had already been closing the distance between them, and with her target out in the open she took advantage of it. Her fist crashed into the gaping mouth and broke three teeth. Her other hand came up hard into the middle of the mutant’s belly and the thing curled up like a pillbug. She grabbed it by an arm and hauled it up as the thing still trembled from the hit. Two hands reached up to fight back against Jasper, but the forced fusion was weaker and slower and pained now. Jasper pulled back just enough to grab another of the thing's wrists and yank it closer, a sharp movement that ended with her violently smashing her head and helmet down into the closest thing the mutant had for a chest. There was a short, sudden sound—the start of another scream—but it ended when the form disappeared. The fused gem shards hadn’t even had the chance to fall into the mud as Jasper caught it so quickly.

 

“Do you know why it wanted you?” Jasper asked as she looked away from the fusion to Lapis. Lapis let out a sigh she hadn’t know she was holding in.

 

“I can take a guess,” she muttered as she put a thin hand over her belly. Jasper came over to her, and she was glancing around now. Lapis frowned and reached up to put a hand on her arm, “What is it?”

 

“I know these things. They stick together, if there’s one there’s at least one more out there,” Jasper said as she held the shard clump to Lapis. Lapis took it and curled her fingers between the shards sticking out—a deep green and purple, if she absolutely had to make a guess it was made out of Emerald and Amethyst, but she couldn’t be sure. The grip would keep the shard from managing to reform, Lapis could have frozen the shard in a block of ice, it would have given them a little more time, but even the thought of it right now made her want to just sit in the mud and take a break. She ended up leaning on Jasper, and Jasper scooped her up carefully.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Jasper said with a frown, looking down to Lapis instead of at their surroundings.

 

“I’m pregnant, I get tired more,” Lapis muttered. She remembered that much from Pearl’s lecture and notebook, and she almost regretted leaving it back in the barn now. She held up the shard, and she could feel under her fingers the mutant trying to become itself again but it wasn’t quite able to as it was held. “I’ll be fine, we just need to go back and give this to the others.”

 

“The warp pad’s pretty far. It’d be faster if you could fly,” Jasper was frowning towards the direction they’d have to go in to get to the closest one that they knew of, and Lapis couldn’t help but think the same thing. Not just that, it’d go a lot faster if Malachite could fly to it. Lapis turned and rested her cheek against Jasper’s hard shoulder.

 

“That’s not happening,” Lapis muttered, and Jasper shifted to hold her close for the trek.

 

* * *

 

Lapis dozed off during the walk. The heavy, even footsteps of Jasper’s boots and the warmth of her hard body made it easy, and with little else she could do to recover she slipped into the new habit of simply sleeping. She was dreaming, and in the dream she sat by a waterfall that sounded like television static. There was something behind her, something cold in the expanse of sun-baked sandstone. It was all too warm and too bright, except for her, and the water, and the thing behind her reaching out with too many hands and too many teeth. Arms open, without a word, no larger than her. Lapis could sense it, could sense her. The thing behind her must have crawled out of the water. She was waiting for her. She was waiting to be looked at.

 

Lapis opened her mouth to speak but the static in the water drowned it all out. She made up her mind and turned to look at her and—

 

Lapis jerked awake as Jasper was hit hard from behind. The Quartz stumbled and snarled, Lapis was tucked in the crook of one arm as she reached back with the other to pull the beast off her back and fling it away. This one wasn’t like the clumsy sluggish one from before. It was too many arms and little else, it had the appearance of a spider missing her abdomen and head, all hands and long, stick-like limbs scrambling for purchase. It found footholds easily even in the snowy forest Jasper had brought them through. It didn’t even turn to charge at them again, and why should it? It had no head, no eyes, it didn’t need to bother looking at them. The thing was sightless and senseless and charging at them again, seeking out something that went beyond sight or sound or smells.

 

Jasper looked down for a moment, then set Lapis on her feet, “Still have the shard?”

 

“Yeah,” Lapis gripped it harder as she stood on her own feet. Her grip had relaxed while she slept, but she hadn’t let go of it.

 

“Good,” Jasper barely got it out before the mutant was on them, five hands reaching for Lapis for a split second before Jasper’s fist caught it hard in the center where the arms all met. It wasn’t quite a torso, it just looked like a multicolored mass holding together bits that had no reason to be together. This time the beast didn’t go far, one of the larger hands shot out and caught a branch from one of the trees surrounding them. Snow shook off of it violently and in the moment of cover the monster scrambled up the trunk and into the branches. It wasn’t well hidden, where it ran it shook out snow and snapped dry, cold branches. Jasper turned to follow the movements and in a flash of light brought her crash helmet back.

 

Her back was to Lapis when something caught the smaller Gem around the throat and pulled her back hard. Lapis struggled as soon as she was caught, her hands going up to the thing around her neck, and she tried to call out but it was lost in the stranglehold and all that came out was a garbled, broken noise. Jasper jerked back at her at the sound and started towards her, but the spider-beast in the trees launched at her then and grabbed onto Jasper’s unprotected back. Two hands wrapped around Jasper’s wrist when she reached back to pull the thing off again, and at the same moment another had gripped her throat and a fourth hit her hard enough in the side of the head to crack her visor.

 

Lapis tried to keep her left hand closed around the shard as she struggled, but the thing around her neck was long, strong, and slimy. When Lapis twisted she saw that it lead into the open mouth of something that had been lurking under the snowy bushes, and she dropped the shard as she reached down to get her hand into the snow. It wasn’t a good medium, but she could pull it together and harden it, control it at least for now, and shot a spike of ice towards the thing. She missed badly, she had been aiming for the inside of the mouth but instead she hit beside it and the bad structure of the snow construct shattered on impact. The beast still jerked, though, Lapis had managed to strike it in a crook of it’s body that had been hidden under the snow, and the tongue loosened enough she could pry it away from her and scramble back from the thing.

 

Beside her, almost hidden in the flurry of movements and white of the snow, was a growing light. It took a brief shape, two figures from the belly up, joined together at that part where they both cut off. One was bigger, one muscular arm digging into the ground and tying to haul herself away from the other—smaller but with both arms and this was also tried to pull away. Both mouths opened and they screamed. A discordant sound, two desperate voices that came together as one. Horror, misery, anger mixed together as the Gems shuddered, the light became static, and they lost themselves into the three-armed monster again. Lapis pulled the snow again, trying to shape it better and faster this time. She couldn’t, the monster under the bushes rolled, it moved in a corkscrew pattern out from under the bushes as though it was made of nothing but elbows and knees, and shot out it’s tongue to grab her ankle and pull her again. Lapis looked away from the newly formed mutant to the one that was hauling her towards it’s mouth again.

 

She kicked at it, flung her ice spear where it shattered again on the corkscrew monster’s side, but this time it held firm. And beside her the monster that was still too raw and angry and had just been reformed lunged and bit her. The beast’s mouth was too big and it managed to catch Lapis almost entirely. One of her arms was pinned against her side, the beast’s teeth were in her throat, her chest, and down her belly. The bottom row of teeth had just barely managed to keep from hitting her gem. Lapis screamed, hit the thing holding her, and the monster below her pulled harder on her ankle. The two mutants were playing tug of war with her, pulling and drooling on her chest and leg until something had to give—and something did.

 

Jasper finally got the spider mutant off of her back and slammed it into the ground, she stomped on it hard to dispel the physical form, and when she looked over to Lapis she was able to see the fraction of a second before her body disappeared in the same way as the mutant Jasper had just dispatched.


	14. Shards

There was something wrong. Even ignoring the obvious, that Lapis had been reduced to only her gem inside of a drooling tooth-lined maw, there was something wrong. The fusion experiments noticed it first, but that was more of a reflection on Jasper’s shock. The dust hadn’t settled from Lapis’s released form, it hovered for a moment, then came back together, and a low sound began to come from the mass. It was quiet but so deep it thrummed inside Jasper’s chest.

 

And then it grew louder.

 

Decibel by decibel it grew, slowly at first and then gaining speed until it was so loud the snow was being shaken out of the trees. The mutants cowered from the source of it. Malformed and too small the piece of Malachite was raising up in a pillar of light. It rose to the height of the mutants around it, to the tops of the trees, and then beyond them. Limbs came for a moment, but the structure of light would shudder and lose them quickly. Malachite was screaming in a voice Jasper had never heard before. She wouldn’t have even called it a voice. It was rage, anger and fury and the malignant need to destroy and entrap. It was emotion without a body to focus it. A hand came, then shivered out of existence. The rage grew and so did the noise. It was so bad Jasper nearly backed off from it. She felt like she was being shaken apart, that the light that made up her own body was going to shudder out of existence and leave her weak and fragile and at the mercy of whatever might come by.

 

She almost didn’t notice when the Malachite struck.

 

It was sudden, so sudden the sound of the hit didn’t come until a fraction of a second after, and when it did it knocked what snow was left in the trees to the ground. White light, a fist at first and then nothing but a mass of shining brightness closed around the mutant that still held Lapis in it’s mouth. It struggled and thrashed as well as it’s clumsy movements would allow, and then the screaming became more frantic from the formless Malachite. She shook the poor beast harder and harder, whipping it back and forth until the thing was little more than a ragdoll, and when the body finally couldn’t keep taking the abuse it dispersed. Lapis fell from the cloud and Jasper jerked into action to run towards her and catch her. She did, but the moment she did something struck her so hard from behind she was thrown into the trees. One broke completely as she tumbled through them, more were only bent as they slowed her path, and Jasper came to a sudden, painful stop as she hit a large hill hard enough to leave a deep divot in it. She winced as she moved to kneel up and she looked over Lapis. She was alright, no cracks everywhere, and Jasper pressed the gemstone close as she turned to look back to Malachite.

 

She expected her to have been the one to throw her, and she wasn’t disappointed. Malachite was far away now, but as she loomed over the treetops she was still easy to see. She was screaming still, and she’d turned her anger to the other two beasts. The light lunged, an eerily fluid motion, and the long overly-jointed one and the spider beast were held together in the surging light. The struggled, their screams sang with the monster hurting them, and then they were gone too. But Malachite wasn’t done, and the light lunged again, striking the ground over and over. Each hit was harder than the last, and Jasper had to assume that was where the gemstones had fallen. She wasn’t content to just dispel them, she had to destroy them too.

 

This was what Malachite was. Stripped of features and form she was rage. She was an unstoppable force. She was danger and destruction.

 

The pillar of light moved and Jasper knew that now Malachite was turning to her. There was that awful scream again and the light surged like a tidal wave through the broken and bent trees towards her. Jasper stood to face it head-on—she had no other option, she wouldn’t be able to get away from Malachite like this and even if she could she was loathe to run. She was braced, Lapis tucked into her hand behind her in the only place that could even hope to be safe in the path of the roaring rage. But the sound faded, rage turned to agony, and it left completely as the light faded and dispersed. It was only out of reflex that Jasper caught the twisted gemstone that came toward her, propelled purely by momentum.

 

When she opened her hand and looked at the tiny thing there was a crack along the side of it. The crack spread with a soft noise that was so quiet after the screaming from before that it was hard to hear it. The shard broke along the crack and fell into four smaller pieces in her hand. Jasper waited, but the shards didn’t deteriorate any farther, and she closed her fingers around them. She looked around, but it was no good. Where the gems of the fusion experiments were she had no idea. At best Malachite had beaten them into the ground and that would contain them. It was possible she had ended their torture by reducing them to nothing but dust, but with Lapis cradled in one hand and the shards of Malachite in the other she wouldn’t be able to carry any more. She wasn’t willing to hold one of them close to Lapis, or to Malachite. Jasper turned away from the ruined landscape to go back to the Temple.

 

* * *

 

Slow, clunky footsteps left weird impressions in the snow. The shoes were too big, but they were the only ones that would work. Amethyst had rooted them out from somewhere in her room and both Steven and Connie’s shoes were too small to wear now. Stevonnie could do a good many things, but they weren’t ready to see if avoiding frostbite out of spite was one of them.

 

“I don’t see anything,” Stevonnie said as they were climbing up a hill. Garnet was with them and she was quiet as they crested the hill. Stevonnie huffed at the scene, “Ok, well I see something now.”

 

In front of them was the ruined forest. It was wrecked in really just one place near the center, with trees knocked over and torn up. The area of damaged was so small compared to the whole expanse of trees that the hill had hidden it. As they walked down the hill the impact from Jasper came into view. Garnet walked beside it, but Stevonnie hopped into the cleared path where the soldier had been thrown, turning to look at the deep place she had impacted, then towards the forest. It was a path cluttered with broken branches and bent trees, and they continued on following the same road Jasper had been tossed down. Garnet didn’t bring out her own weapons and so Stevonnie kept the shield away, but they unsheathed the sword they carried as they went. Garnet had planned to come alone, but Stevonnie had been fresh from training and still full of adrenaline and excitement when Jasper returned with Lapis’s gem in one hand and insisted to go with Garnet and help her. There wasn’t much that could take down Jasper or Lapis, and if it was strong enough to beat up one of them and poof the other they wanted to make sure it wouldn’t get any more of their friends.

 

They came to the epicenter of the damage. The forest here had been pulverized. Tree trunks weren’t just broken, they were reduced to splinters, two huge pits of packed earth and snow had been beaten into the ground, and on the trees all through the new and ruined clearing there were gashes in the bark. Stevonnie went to one and pried a bit of ice from the wound in the plant.

 

“Do you think they made Malachite…?” was the only thing they could think to ask. There was more destruction here than just a fusion mutant could make. Even a whole herd of them wouldn’t have done what they were looking at now. They looked to Garnet and she frowned as she looked over the scene. She remembered a vision, a huge form but unstable, light that could never quite some together and be solid, Malachite’s attempt to be all that she had been prior to breaking Jasper. She didn’t tell Stevonnie, it wouldn’t have helped and it would just make them worry to the point of coming apart.

 

Something moved in the rubble and Stevonnie was on guard in an instant. Now Garnet brought her gauntlets out as well, and they came to the edge of the deep divot in the ground. It was packed so deep and hard that Garnet could see it filling with water that wouldn’t drain away, an algae bloom that would spring up and then fade, frogs that would make the twin lakes their home and spawning spot, humans that would find it in summers and think it was their secret. But in the present something shuddered under a twisted and broken branch and a purple arm reached out from the mess. It gripped the ground and pulled itself free—but beyond a stump of shoulder there was nothing more there. After a moment to see if there were more Stevonnie jumped down and impaled their sword through the crawling limb. The arm jerked and then went still, and the form disappeared in a puff. They picked up the shard to look over it, but they’d seen enough gem shards that still had a little life left in them to move to know that’s all it was. Stevonnie bubbled it and sent it home.

 

“Jasper said they were fusion experiments,” Stevonnie frowned. They looked back up at Garnet. Jasper hadn’t said much else, just that there were three of them and that they’d gotten Lapis. There wasn’t anything else she’d answer about, and Garnet hadn’t pressed for information, just the location where it had happened. “There’s no way they would have gotten that hurt from shards, even a whole pack of them. There’s no way shards did this. Do you think Jasper broke them? But if she did… why’d she send us after them?”

 

“We’ll check the area first,” Garnet said. She knew too well that dwelling on what might be distracted from what was. “If there were mutants here they’re gone now.”

 

“Yeah…” Stevonnie looked around the crater again. “Best to get started, then.”

 

Since three heads were better then two they sighed, relaxed, and released their form so Steven and Connie could look through the rubble, the two both armed with the shield and sword respectively just in case there was something still lurking.

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t ideal, but in a pinch Kindergarteners could preform some rudimentary physical wellness exams. They were required to know if a Gem was unsuitable for implantation, after all, and they could determine if growth conditions had been too poor based on if a few Gems were displaying warped or improperly formed facets. Because of this they were required to know both ideal and acceptable formations of Gems. With little else to do Pearl had gone to fetch Peridot to bring her to the Temple so she could do that examination on Lapis while she was within her gem. Peridot had her usual overexcited reaction to her friend’s bad situation, but with a task at hand she’d gone into a worker’s mentality easily.

 

“Everything feels fine,” Peridot said as he moved her fingertips along the curved edge of Lapis’s gem and up to the pointed tip. Jasper had only handed over the gem reluctantly, and was now alternating between looking pointedly away or watching Peridot a little too intently. “There’s a divot here, but I saw that on her before this so it’s just part of her. Not ideal, but it doesn’t really affect anything. Most Gems have some fault on them.”

 

“Yeah?” Amethyst grinned from her place sprawled on the couch. “So what’s mine?”

 

“You’re perfect,” Peridot said simply, then coughed when her face grew a darker green. “Not, ah. Not that I inspect you when you’re not looking, and I mean, I haven’t seen your internal structure. There could be something wrong with the facets inside of your body—but I doubt it.”

 

Amethyst snorted at that, “Dude, Peri, chill.”

 

“So where’s the rest?” Peridot immediately changed the topic.

 

“The rest?” Pearl repeated with a frown. 

 

“This is Lapis Lazuli,” Peridot said, unnecessarily, and she held the blue Gem in one hand. “But where’s the Malachite? I’m checking that too, right?”

 

“She shattered,” Jasper said darkly. Pearl barely managed to stifle a quiet gasp and Amethyst grimaced and glanced away as though to give Jasper some privacy.

 

“Mmmh, no,” Peridot said. The three others stared at her, Jasper’s upper lip pulled back in a snarl, and Peridot startled enough to keep going, “It couldn’t have shattered! Not in a traditional sense, at least. It wouldn’t have formed enough at this point to be actually alive.”

 

“She was alive,” Jasper growled. “I saw her.”

 

“That’s impossible,” Peridot huffed. “It wasn’t alive yet. If you saw anything when Lazuli released her form it only would have been residual consciousness from the original fusion. You should be glad. If there was residual consciousness in the shard that means that Malachite on it’s own is capable of existing without it’s parent components. So, if you’ve got it, let me see it.”

 

Jasper was eyeing Peridot for a while. Too long, and it made the smaller Gem start to worry about if the Quartz was going to react suddenly and badly at any moment. Finally Jasper got up and came over to Peridot. She really was big, did she get bigger after reforming? Or did Peridot always only ready her mid-thigh without her enhancers? Jasper held out her hand and slowly opened it to show the four shards resting in her palm. Peridot let out a sigh and took them.

 

“Alright, let’s see what we have here.”


	15. Preparation

“Alright, so we have… four shards. I thought there was just one,” Peridot frowned as she handed Lapis back to Jasper and then laid the four little pieces of Malachite in her hand.

 

“The gem cracked and broke into those,” Jasper answered.

 

“Cracked, huh?” Peridot picked the largest of the shards up and turned it over above her head, watching the way the light played on the shiny surface. “This was a good thing, then. If the gem had kept growing with that deep of a fault it wouldn’t have survived even fully formed. The original shard probably had a fracture in it from the force of breaking. You said you saw her, what did it look like?”

 

“…Nothing. She was just light.”

 

“Well, yeah. But the light had a shape, right? Was it big, little, what?”

 

“She was huge. As big as when Lapis and I fuse.”

 

“Definitely residual consciousness, then. That wasn’t a Gem, it was more like… the potential to be a Gem eventually. It’s the same thing that keeps shards crawling around like hands and legs,” Peridot put the largest shard back and pieced the four of them together. When she was done she wrinkled her nose and made a face. “Elgh. That’s horrifying.”

 

“What is?” Amethyst came over to look over Peridot’s shoulder. In her hand the four shards looked very natural, but that had more to do with the fact dark green shards in a bright green hand went pretty well together. Peridot had pushed them into a crease in her palm and the gem made a weird sort of wiggly right angle.

 

“This is,” Peridot traced the wiggly angle with her finger, “It wasn’t forming right. There are high sedimentary deposits on this side, but too many striations here, and the shape is wrong. It was getting the minerals it needed to grow, but not evenly.”

 

“We were doing it wrong,” Jasper growled low, a softer sound than she’d made so far that day. Amethyst shifted uncomfortably then reached up to put a comforting hand on Jasper’s lower back.

 

“Nah, you were probably doing fine,” Peridot said without realizing Jasper’s misery. “The shard wasn’t shaped right for it. See, it came from you, your facets are incredibly sharp and the sides are smooth, but that limited the space where sediments could collect and crystalize. It’s my fault for letting Pearl tell you what to do.”

 

“Excuse me?” Pearl startled with a glare at Peridot.

 

“I found book you made, Lapis left it for me to correct,” Peridot waved her free hand, she’ never realized that Lapis had left the notebook behind simply because she didn’t feel she needed it. “And there was a lot to correct, let me tell you!”

 

“And what exactly did I get wrong?” Pearl squawked louder than she meant to, and she blushed at the loud indignation in her own voice.

 

“Nothing, if they were making Pearls,” Peridot said and picked up one of the shards again to show it off. “But this? Isn’t a Pearl. The shard needed to be treated, the smooth sides need to be scored so there’s something sedimentary deposits can attach to and grow from. You can’t just swallow a grain and expect a Gem to come out perfectly fine the way a Mother of Pearl can do. There’s a reason that’s all they do.”

 

“They swallow a grain? Of what?” Amethyst frowned.

 

“Usually it’s from a gem,” Peridot answered as she sorted the shards in her hand again, this time putting them side by side and arraigning them by size. There was one that was larger than the others, and one that was smaller, and the other two were nearly identical. “Remember how I was saying you need to score a shard? That’s what happens, you get grains of sand that are too small to make the type of Gem that the sand came from. They’re too small for anything, really, but you can give it to a Mother of Pearl if you want to influence the color and personality of her daughter. This one.”

 

Peridot held up the largest shard to Jasper. The Quartz just stared at it for a moment, “What do you mean that one?”

 

“If you’re going to do it again, this is the one you want. I can score it if you get me something sharp or rough,” Peridot grinned, proud of herself.

 

Jasper reached down to take the shard, holding it between two fingers and then looking down to Lapis. She hadn’t thought about starting it again so quickly…

 

“There’s no way they can do that again,” Pearl said sharply. “They were attacked, what if it happens again?”

 

“If I know they’re coming then I can be prepared for it,” Jasper said.

 

“No offense, sis, but I doubt you were holding back,” Amethyst said. Jasper looked down to her, then to Lapis again with a frown.

 

“I have to do this. I can make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Jasper said firmly. She was talking more to Lapis, still tucked away inside of her gem, than to Amethyst.

 

“And if it does?” Pearl asked.

 

Jasper’s eyes hardened, “It won’t.”

 

An awkward silence followed, with Peridot turning back to the shards in her hand to sort the three of them again and Amethyst patting Jasper’s back again lightly before taking her hand away and taking a step back. Pearl was frowning herself as she thought, then she sighed and looked to Jasper.

 

“Give Malachite back to Peridot. Amethyst, take care of Lapis,” Pearl said.

 

“Uh, yeah, ok. But why?” Amethyst said as she reached up for the Gem in Jasper’s hand.

 

“Because Jasper and I are leaving,”

 

“Leaving where?” Jasper asked. She hesitated, but finally she relented and gave the blue Gem to Amethyst, and then the green shard back to Peridot.

 

“The Forge,” Pearl answered and she went to the warp pad. “If Garnet and Stevonnie come back before we do just tell them we’ll be home soon.”

 

* * *

 

Jasper was quiet on the walk from the warp pad to the forge, and so Pearl chattered on about anything she could think of to fill the silence. A good bit of it was complaining about Peridot and how she acted like she knew everything—ignoring, of course, that Pearl had assumed she knew everything too—and then continuing on with how Steven might react once Stevonnie unfused. And Connie, of course, she might be worried. Humans have a much different concept of pregnancy, after all. She carefully avoided Lapis and when she might reform, even though Jasper noticed that Pearl would start to talk about something and then abruptly stop and go very quiet for a minute or two before continuing on again. After a while the desperate attempt at normalcy won Jasper over and by the time they reached the opening into the volcano and was answering questions posed to her, although she didn’t talk nearly as much as Pearl in general.

 

Jasper waited for Pearl to go in first, as she had lead the way up until then, but Pearl didn’t make any move to go in. Finally the slender Gem sighed, “Just, ah. Just go in, tell Bismuth I sent you here, and tell her why. But, don’t…”

 

“I won’t,” Jasper said and Pearl visibly relaxed. She could make a guess at what Pearl wanted, and she’d say she came alone if asked. If Pearl was going to say something Jasper shouldn’t do she would have just said it and she probably would have gone into a long lecture as to why Jasper shouldn't do whatever it was. If Pearl was being quiet it was because it was personal.

 

Jasper stepped into the opening and walked into the mountainside, the heat growing heavier the further she walked in. The cavern grew smaller by increments, and just when Jasper started to wonder if she’d have to crouch the rest of the way it opened up suddenly into a large workshop. Lava flowed across the floor and seated beside it with one leg laying into the molten rock was a Bismuth inspecting the edge of a short sword in a way that implied she’d already sharpened it as much as she could but was hoping it might have grown duller somehow so she’d be able to tend to it once more.

 

She looked up at Jasper, glancing over her once, and then narrowed her eyes as she grinned, “I don’t remember sending out invitations.”

 

“Good, because I didn’t get one,” Jasper said as she came in. She turned her back to Bismuth and looked over the array or weapons decorating the walls. This Bismuth wasn’t like the few she’d seen on Homeworld, all architects and construction workers half-hoping something cataclysmic would happen to their old work so they could upgrade the buildings that the other Gems didn’t want changed or altered. This Bismuth was just as bored as they were, but she sat in a room littered with tools of war instead of blueprints for new towers and spires. She wanted to be a soldier, or to at least outfit them, and so Jasper would treat her the way she treated any other soldier. “I’d be insulted if you overlooked me.”

 

“It’s be pretty hard to do that,” Bismuth laughed as she stood up. She shifted her grip on the sword, but she didn’t put it down. “Can’t imagine why someone like you’d be here.”

 

“I want a weapon,” Jasper said as she turned back to Bismuth. The other Gem chuckled as she put the sword into a barrel of others of the same size and weight.

 

“You don’t need a weapon,” Bismuth said. “You are one. Bet you could do a lot of damage all on your own.”

 

“I can,” Jasper agreed with a grin of her own.

 

“So where were you hiding, anyway? You’re a Jasper, right? Never saw you with the Crystal Gems,” Bismuth said as she went to the far wall to look over the larger weapons she had. Battle axes, broadswords, polearms. She’d need something sturdy, something intimidating. The axe looked good, unless she was going to want something tailored to her then that would take time.

 

“That’s right. I never saw you either,” Jasper said. She watched her, and she could get what she wanted easily with lying, but Earth was small and that would only last so long. “I saw other Bismuth on Homeworld, but you’re the first one I’ve seen as a blacksmith.”

 

Bismuth paused at that and shouldered one of the larger axes she had hanging on the wall. Not a lot of Gems could wield it comfortably but Jasper would be able to, and Bismuth could. “So how long were you on Homeworld?”

 

“Longer than I’ve been on Earth,” Jasper answered.

 

“That sounds like a pretty good reason I shouldn’t give you a weapon,” Bismuth said. “Do you have a better reason for me handing this over other than because you showed up and you want one?”

 

“Plenty, but showing up and wanting one is pretty good to me,” Jasper grinned. “If you don’t give it to me I’ll just have to take it.”

 

Bismuth snorted at that, “Yeah? I’d love to see you try.”


	16. Moissanite

The Forge was a bad place for a fight. It was built into a volcano, and even with Bismuth’s structure in place to control where the lava would flow and to keep it from erupting the volcano still wasn’t a stable structure. Time might have cooled it but with the Gem’s influence the natural structure was trapped in a state of neither erupting nor cooling. It was built to be a stable foundation that would last for as long as Bismuth felt the war would go on. So, understandably, Pearl was startled when she felt the ground tremble under her feet.

 

Within the Forge Bismuth was reminded of the fight she had once long ago with Rose. Not in similarities but in how different Jasper was. Rose had been worried, upset, and she was capable of stopping and deflecting Bismuth until she had a time when she could strike quickly and cleanly. Jasper didn’t stop anything, she didn’t deflect, and she didn’t wait for an opening. She came at Bismuth in a flash of light as a spinning ball that was too fast to track. But Bismuth didn’t need to follow her because her size wasn’t what made her a danger on the battlefield. It was everything that made her a good architect that made her dangerous against an enemy. She didn’t need to track Jasper because she knew where she would be from her trajectory, and she knew when she would arrive there by knowing how fast she was going. She morphed her hand a hammer and as Jasper came up fast on her right side she swung as hard as she could and knocked the Quartz back. Bismuth laughed loud, but Jasper didn’t stop. She used the hit to go back, up the wall, over the ceiling, and all faster than she had been able to manage on her own. Bismuth knew what was coming but she just wasn’t able to react fast enough to turn away before Jasper hit her hard square in the back and threw her down. Striking Bismuth made Jasper lose some of her speed and when she came around again Bismuth rolled onto her back to hit her hard towards the fountain of lava at the end of her workshop. It had been a gamble but it worked out, Jasper suddenly fought against the path she was on, her spin dash digging hard into the ground until Jasper couldn’t hold the form anymore. She was left down on one knee and gripping the floor hard enough there were deep grooves where her fingers had bitten into the hewn rock. Her crash helmet had a crack along one side of it.

 

“Thought so,” Bismuth said as she rose again. She was hiding the wince as well as she could, if she was human her back definitely would have been broken, but Gems were made of stronger stuff. “Garnet and I are the only ones who can handle actually being in lava.”

 

“Planning on hiding there?” Jasper asked. She grinned at Bismuth’s sudden scowl and she reached to take up a sword. It wasn’t nearly as big as the one Rose had once used, but it would do the job just as well here.

 

“That’s not going to do you any good,” Bismuth laughed and she came at Jasper. She was fast, but she wasn’t as fast as a soldier, and Jasper swung the sword at her.

 

Bismuth ducked under the high arc easily and hit Jasper hard in the gut. Jasper was thrown back into the wall where the weapons were hanging and the fell in a clatter around her. She hissed sharply when a dagger cut into her thigh, and she gripped it to yank it out with a hard jerk of her hand as she looked back up to Bismuth.

 

“That sword was too light for you,” Bismuth explained with a laugh as she twirled the ax she was still holding. Jasper had dropped the sword and it was by Bismuth’s feet. She got her foot under it and kicked it up as she morphed her hand back to it’s usual shape to catch it. “Lighter isn’t always better, especially for a big fighter like you. You need something you can feel the weight of, something that won’t overshoot what you’re aiming for.”

 

Jasper threw the dagger in her hand and Bismuth stepped back to jerk the sword up and deflect it. As soon as her attention was diverted Jasper reached down to pick something up without looking at it. All she knew was this was a lot heavier than the sword had been and she charged. Bismuth barely had time to move when she saw her coming, and when Jasper swung her weapon—a heavy hammer used more for any Gem that had the urge to apprentice under Bismuth long ago—Bismuth still took a hit to her shoulder and was forced to drop the sword she had been holding. The hammer lodged deep into the floor of the Forge and Jasper gripped the handle hard to pull at it but it wouldn’t move fast enough. Bismuth kicked her hard in the stomach and Jasper was knocked away from it.

 

“Too—ah… too heavy’s not good either. Just as unwieldy and leaves openings,” Bismuth winced as she rolled her shoulder and readjusted her grip on the ax in her other hand. She looked over the Quartz again as she stood, lingering on her cracked helmet. “You’re not used to using weapons like these.”

 

“You’re not the only one who thought I didn’t need one,” Jasper wheezed out. Bismuth liked to aim for the stomach, she’d either have to brace to take the hits better or start avoiding them. This time Jasper went without a weapon and charged with just her helmet and bare fists. She was faster that way, and when Bismuth raised up the ax Jasper was able to catch her wrist. She reared back to hit her in the jaw—

 

“What are you two doing?!”

 

And stopped short. Bismuth and Jasper both stared at each other for a moment, then they each took a step back. Jasper let go of Bismuth’s wrist and Bismuth dropped the ax down to her side and they looked up to the doorway of the workshop.

 

“We’re fine,” Jasper said to Pearl.

 

“The volcano isn’t!” She cried out, and as if in agreement the ground under them let out a low, growling roar as the floor cracked. At the center of the growing crack the hammer was still embedded in the floor, and as the damage spread magma started seeping up through the floor. Bismuth cursed and went to the hammer, yanking it up hard and tossing it aside to reach down into the molten rock. She frowned and bit her lower lip as she reached in deeper.

 

“The internal structures are damaged. All the funnels I had laid out to vent pressure have caved in,” Bismuth said. Even if she preferred weapons she could still do her old job, and she could feel from the movement of the liquid rock where things were wrong. “I have to go in and fix them manually.”

 

Jasper stumbled as a crack opened up between her feet and she backed away from it quickly. Pearl was doing the same and avoiding the oozing red-hot magma. They were able to handle the suffocating heat, but soon it wouldn’t matter. Jasper turned to the doorway and the volcano gave another shudder, and from deep in the tunnel she could hear rock falling. It had caved in.

 

“Do it fast, we don’t have time,” Jasper called out over the sound of the volcano rushing to finally erupt.

 

“Find another way out, I can’t do this any faster,” Bismuth snapped and she yanked her hand out of the lava when the ground under her shuddered and nearly dunked her down into the molten rock. She swore again and wiped the lava off of her hand onto her pants, still kneeling on the floor as she tried to figure out what to do. “I need more time or I need more of me, and I don’t have either.”

 

Pearl stumbled on the floor, although it was quickly turning into a few pieces of solid rock floating on an uneven sea of magma. She leapt from the wobbly surface and landed lightly beside Bismuth, “Let me help.”

 

“You can’t help, Pearl, you can’t even touch the lava,” Bismuth said as she raised her hand to gesture to the crumbling workroom. Pearl reached out and put her hand into Bismuth’s, sliding her slender fingers between the bigger Gem’s. Bismuth froze and looked at her hand, then back up to Pearl’s face.

 

“You can, and I can help,” Pearl said firmly. Her voice was stronger than the rest of her, though, and she was looking at the crumbling floor instead of Bismuth’s face. Bismuth stood up as she held Pearl’s hand, and there was a moment when she opened her mouth, but she closed it again and dropped the ax to put her hand around Pearl’s waist. They moved together, awkwardly at first, but what they needed and what they offered to one another came together remarkably easily. Power and strength, grace and sophistication, an intelligence that was unexpected from both and the will to be more than they were. Jasper held her hand up against the flash of light and when she dropped it down she saw the fusion.

 

It was startling at first, just because of how strangely like a Diamond the new Gem looked like. The height was wrong, if she could have stood in the space she would have only been half the height, but the face and body structure was remarkable. There were no extra limbs on her. However, the similarities ended there. The Gem wasn’t dressed with any sort of regal appearance. Her hair was a mess of pastel rainbow falling over her shoulders and into her face. Bismuth’s tattoo was joined with others, starting on backs of her hands and wrists and up to her shoulders where the stars disappeared under her sleeveless shirt, a star chart drawn in black on lavender skin detailing constellations and warp pad locations as they had been six thousand years ago. The fusion reached up, collecting her hair to wrap it around itself and into a bun at the back of her head. She grabbed up a spear and shoved the pole of it through her hair to hold it in place. She looked to Jasper and there was finally one note of her having two Gems within her, her eyes each had two pupils, one set in blue and the other in black. Her gems glittered white even in the yellow glow from the lava, casting prisims of light from the multifaceted gemstone in her chest.

 

“Ok,” the fusion said, and her voice was surprisingly soft and high for her size. She pulled a hand back and then punched hard into the hole where Bismuth had been reaching in before. The hole was smashed larger and the fusion went down so fast onto her chest and stomach Jasper thought she was going to fall into the magma. But she didn’t, she laid there and frowned in concentration, reaching into the lava and moving her hand under to touch the structures that had been there before. “I can do this.”

 

“Do it faster,” Jasper said sharply and the fusion looked at her with a frown.

 

“I don’t see you helping. Don’t distract me,” she said firmly and turned to get her arm in deeper. Jasper staggered when the magma made the flooring she was standing on surge, pushed up by the larger Gem’s ministrations in the liquid rock. “I don’t have any room! I hate being cramped.”

 

“Don’t make excuses, just do it!” Jasper jerked down to grab up a polearm and throw it hard towards the ceiling. The weapon embedded in the rock and she jumped up to grab onto the end of it to hang above the molten rock wreckage.

 

“Good, you hang out up there,” the fusion said and she shoved her other hand into the hole she was reaching in. She wrenched the hole apart and the volcano shuddered, but soon went still. Pearl’s limited ability to control sand and Bismuth’s natural affinity for magma was combined, multiplied, changed into something new, and with her progenitors’ ability to build swiftly and safely and inclination for even, careful, meticulous detail she could rip the workshop apart to it’s core and rebuild it with her mind more than her hands. Without Jasper to worry about the floor was lost almost immediately and the fusion sank down into the magma. She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. The basement was gone now—just as well, it was built primarily for the Point Break and that was gone too. Down, down, even deeper, and the fusion smiled as she murmured to herself. “Good, there. Now, let’s make a vault, I’ve been needing one. Ah, yes, like that!”

 

The fusion was grinning, clearly enjoying herself now that the threat as she saw it was gone. But Jasper wasn’t so lucky. Everything that was being built was being made under and out of the flowing magma. It crept up the walls to mound up into walkways and stairs. Hooks jutted from the walls above the stairs that now wrapped around the inside of the mountain for weapons to be hanged in places of honor. But all of the weapons that had already been in the forge were falling into the magma and melting into slag to be used in building the new workshop. The fusion didn’t notice or she didn’t care, and Jasper gripped the polearm harder as the rock it was embedded in let out a grinding sound and rained dust down onto her. She couldn’t stay up on the ceiling forever.

 

“This is finally enough room!” the fusion laughed and rose up where she had finished the floor. Her legs from the knees down were still submerged in liquid rock. “Now for décor, and my anvil.”

 

And as she said it more lava surged up and around, creating molding on the stairwells and forming guard rails. The hooks changed too, no longer simple the magma snaked over them, wrapping around the jutting rock and raising fingers out of the wall, and women behind them. Raised murals of the former Crystal Gems in their entirety, Gems Jasper had never seen ringed around the inside of the mountain now, all of them with their eyes closed and their hands out holding nothing, ready to have heir old armory given back to them. The whole volcano glowed as if it was alive now, and as the décor moved to the ceiling the head of the spear melted. Jasper cried out when she was dropped down towards the floor that was just now visible and still rolling like liquid.

 

“Oh, careful!” Jasper was caught in the fusion’s hands, and when she was sure she was held firmly she finally managed to relax just a fraction. The lavender hands were still too hot, but it was now where Jasper was uncomfortable but not at risk of worse.

 

“The floor’s still brittle, you can’t put too much pressure on it yet,” the fusion smiled and looked around at her work. The space was much larger now, most more suited to her size, and behind her was a fountain of herself that flowed with magma that poured out of the gem in her chest. “Ah, just look at it. The new Forge.”

 

“You weren’t supposed to do this,” Jasper complained as she tried to squirm free of the fusion’s admittedly gentle grip. The heat was making the injuries she’d gotten from Bismuth feel that much worse. The fusion stared at her, clearly shocked, and Jasper decided if she was going to be dropped into the barely crusted over lava she might as well deserve it before she fell. “You were just supposed to fix what was there. How is Bismuth supposed to use that?”

 

Jasper gestured to the anvil built up from the floor and the fusion turned to look at it. It was sized just right for her, which meant it was by and far too large for Bismuth.

 

“That’s…” the fusion frowned as the turned towards the anvil and the basin still cooling beside it. “That’s not… I mean, that’s mine. That’s for me.”

 

“But you’re not staying here,” Jasper argued. “You weren’t supposed to be doing this for yourself. Did you think you’d be here forever?”

 

The hands holding Jasper trembled and she braced to jump. Maybe the edge of the basin would be safe to stand on… She didn’t have long to think about it, there was a jerk that made her look up at the fusion and now it was her turn to stare in confusion. The huge Gem was crying. She wasn’t trying to hide it or stem the flow of it, she was just sobbing as quietly as she could manage.

 

“But I don’t want to go!” She cried out, and it was one of the most miserable sounds Jasper had ever been forced to hear. “I want to be like this, I want to be me! I want to stay! I want—”

 

What the fusion wanted was lost. As she cried her form became unstable and shuddered into light. She had her eyes closed tight against her tears as she ceased to be, and Jasper yelled as she fell. Bismuth barely had time to toss Pearl to the stairs before she had to catch Jasper. The weight of the two of them made the floor that had just barely been holding the fusion and Jasper up crunch, and Bismuth yelled as she threw Jasper as hard as she could, “Stairs!”

 

Jasper didn’t think beyond obeying orders, she landed just shy of the stairs but jumped before the magma had a chance to crack again under her boots and made it to where Pearl was standing and fretting. She was still crying. Jasper looked back to Bismuth once she was sure the stairs weren’t going to crumble under her weight. The blacksmith was hauling herself up out of the lava she’d fallen into, but no worse for wear. Bismuth looked around and paused to rub the back of her hand over her eyes before looking over to Pearl and Jasper, “You’ll have to use the stairs, I don’t trust raising up the ground when it’s this new.”

 

“Is this going to be usable?” Jasper asked. Now that Bismuth was standing there it was even more obvious there was no way she’d be able to use it as a workshop as it was. Pearl winced and turned away to start up the stairs.

 

“It’s better than breaking,” Bismuth admitted and then jumped a little when she noticed the slender Gem leaving, “Pearl!”

 

Pearl paused and looked back to her. Bismuth opened her mouth, and like before they fused she just closed it again. But this time she managed after a moment to say, “Thank you.”

 

Pearl smiled just a little at that and nodded, and resumed her walk up the stairs.

 

“So,” Bismuth said as she turned away from Pearl’s long trek up the stairs. “You wanted a weapon.”

 

“I’m guessing I’m going to have to wait for it now,” Jasper said as she looked over the decorated but empty walls.

 

“Unless you had your eye on that spear,” Bismuth nodded to the one that the fusion had kept her hair back from her face with. It had fallen with Pearl, but it had been the least important thing to worry about. “If you were thinking of something else I’ll bring it to you when it’s done. Know what you want?”

 

“An ax,” Jasper said. Bismuth laughed and nodded and she turned back to the Forge. It would take a lot to make it so she could use it, but as she looked to the fountain she decided she didn’t want to change more than she absolutely had to.


	17. Ruin and Repair

“Why is it so easy for you?” Jasper asked, although from her tone it was more of an accusation. She’d had time to think wandering up the winding stairs, Pearl had gone up faster than she had and she was lingering at the top of the stairs when Jasper finally finished the climb. Pearl had been hovering near the last sculpture that was just beside the doorway; Rose Quarts with her eyes closed and her hands situated to hold a large weapon that wasn’t there. Pearl jumped at her voice.

 

“What?” Pearl startled like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t.

 

“Fusion,” Jasper sad. Pearl relaxed a little at that and turned away from the image of Rose to leave through the doorway. Jasper followed her.

 

“Practice,” Pearl answered with a sigh once they were out of the enlarged workshop. “I’ve fused with more Gems, and more often, than you have.”

 

“It’s not just practice,” Jasper said. “You didn’t even want to look at her before, but when the fusion showed up—”

 

“Moissanite,” Pearl corrected.

 

“When Moissanite showed up she was perfect. She looked perfect, and she wanted to stay but…”Jasper reached up without thinking of it, rubbing the side of her thumb against the crooked edge of her gem.

 

Pearl smiled a little, but she shook her head, “She wasn’t perfect. No fusion is, every one takes work and some are more, ah, addictive than others.”

 

“Even with Rose Quartz?” Jasper asked. It was a low blow, and Pearl squared her shoulders in a way that made her walk stiffly as she moved ahead of Jasper in the tunnel. They came to where the tunnel had collapsed, the glass-smooth new stone still too hot to tread on directly, and Jasper and Pearl had to pick their ways across using stepping stones of the original construction that were spaced haphazardly in the new floor.

 

Finally, long enough that Jasper had nearly forgotten what she asked, Pearl said softly, “Even with Rose it wasn’t perfect.”

 

Jasper looked over at Pearl and misstepped, her boot hissing on still nearly melted rock, and she cursed and jumped away from it. She cleared the last few feet of too-hot floor and Pearl landed lightly and gracefully near her.

 

“What did Bismuth even do to you?” Jasper frowned. Pearl wasn’t always direct and right now that was the most aggravating thing for her. That and almost falling into molten lava earlier, but right now Pearl was the only thing she could confront.

 

“She…” Pearl paused, crossed her arms, and sighed, “Nothing.”

 

“What do you mean nothing? You didn’t even want to come in here.”

 

“I mean she didn’t do anything to me, personally, but she…” Pearl looked down to the ground as she walked like it might have an answer, then to the ceiling when the floor just couldn’t help her. “But she did do a lot. She fought with Rose, she wanted to shatter Gems, and even if I know she wasn’t aware of it she was gone for so long. I mourned her, just like all the others, and now she’s back but she’s not who I thought she was when she disappeared, and I’m not who I was then either, and I…”

 

“You didn’t want to deal with it,” Jasper cut in shortly. Pearl stiffened again, then nodded.

 

“Things don’t always change for the better,” Pearl sighed. “Bismuth and I were so close before, but now… Now we don’t even really know each other at all. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

 

They came to the opening out of the side of the volcano and Jasper looked up at the top of the huge structure. She had expected the volcano to be smoking, but it wasn’t. From the outside there was no indication at all of how much had been altered inside.

 

“Everything changes on Earth, right?” she asked.

 

Pearl nodded, “Even things you don’t want to change.”

 

“Then they’ll change again eventually,” Jasper looked away from the volcano and passed Pearl to make her way down. “Make the next change better. It’s what I’m doing.”

 

* * *

 

 

Garnet sat on the couch, her fingers laced together and her elbows on her knees as she studied the bubbled Gems before her. Or rather, the bubbled shards. Had it been any other mission this would have been another success, poor Gems unable to rest put in a temporary state of peace, another day another old friend put safely back in the Temple. But this was not another mission, not like the others before, and this was where her vision fell short. The future was hers, so long as she knew where to look, but she had never thought to search out something like this. It was a rare time where she almost envied the Sapphires who came out discolored, whose sight stretched out behind or became all-encompassing for a single moment. Those abilities were even harder to control leaving the few Gems allowed to exist with them either unable to stop walking through the past or overwhelmed by panoptic sight—or perhaps they simply never had the training and care that Sapphire had received when it came to understanding and utilizing her abilities.

 

It didn’t matter now. Garnet couldn’t look to the past and know what happened with clarity, she could only piece together the information she had and hope to get the truth. Wishing her abilities were different for a moment wouldn’t make it true, and wishing didn’t help her now. The question then became would Jasper have lied? Perhaps, if she had been the one to dispel Lapis’s form, but her actions afterwards would indicate that wasn’t what happened. Garnet could see in that direction, she could see Lapis with her fingers in barely pink hair, she could see Jasper with a battle ax buried in the back of a Gem beast, she could see Malachite standing tall and monstrous by the lighthouse and nearly dwarfing it in size. It wasn’t Jasper…

 

_But what about Malachite?_ Garnet frowned at that, her eyes behind her shades glancing over the shards before her. Malachite…

 

And so she looked there. She saw monsters, she saw what she had seen before but she hadn’t dwelled on them much. Now she would. Which one she saw first wasn’t necessarily the most accurate one, but it would lead her down the right path. There. She stood tall, as tall as Garnet and as broad as Jasper. Her hair was a mess of white that hid everything but her mouth, and her teeth were too large. They would always show, even if she tried to hide them there would be fangs and sharp incisors that could never be tucked away. But she wouldn’t try to hide them, because she couldn’t see them. She couldn’t see anything, she would be born blind and use the sounds around her and the feeling of water that everything on Earth held within it to find her way. Garnet couldn’t see the answer with her and left the blind child to look again.

 

This one was immediate. She was slender and slight and had the habit of swaying when someone wasn’t there beside her to lean on. She was so close to the other there was no question those two were linked. Her hair was straight and tended to fall into her four eyes. Her teeth were small but like a shark they were so sharp and numerous they could cut through anything. She would stumble on land but in the water she would become too fast to track and the colder it was the faster she would be. But there was no answer to the Gem shards in front of Garnet with her either, and so she abandoned the sea predator to look again.

 

This time it took longer, and the ocean was left for the red sandstone of the Beta Kindergarten. She stood tall but evenly proportioned, her face and body held no mention of her fusion ancestry. Sand bit her skin and the lack of water and ice jarred her. She cried in the storm, and Garnet lost her easily. This one was the least likely, then. She was too hard to look at for long, and the longer Garnet looked for her the most lost she became.

 

Garnet was ready to leave the future for those Gems, should they come to be, alone. There were too many possibilities to search them all— _but were there?_ They were so different— _but they weren’t similar._ There wasn’t something between the skinny stumbling Gem and the big blind one. Pull back, then, find the paths themselves. There were many, they forked and branched and twisted and pooled, they ended abruptly and they faded over long periods of time. Did they all come from one? Yes and no, but follow the yes, find the crying child, the hunter and the sightless, and one more. The four shards Malachite had broken into.

 

And there she was, standing on four hands like her progenitor, on the beach surrounded by spikes of ice encrusted with sand. If she had come from a Kindergarten she would have been broken for being malformed. She was angry, but they all were to some degree. She strained with something in her hands, the small size of it and her thin arms and chest giving the impression she was weak. It came apart with a snap and sent her stumbling back, and if she stood on two legs instead of four arms she would have fallen over. Her hands opened and there was what Garnet had been seeking. In her right nestled among the scratches where the hard facets had bitten into her skin a shard of Topaz, glittering with tiny flecks of green at the jagged base. In her left was a shard of Emerald. The child sneered, it was destruction of her enemy and Garnet left her to her dark pleasure with the knowledge that it was more than that.

 

She destroyed the forced fusion but she had freed the two Gems that made it up. Or, rather, she would if she came to be.

 

Garnet thought of Lapis within her Gem. Steven had taken her down to the beach in an effort to bring her closer to something she enjoyed when they returned and Connie had gone down with him. The future was still uncertain, what Garnet saw now could be only the ripples of the way things had been before Lapis had lost her form and her consciousness. When she resurfaced it was possible all this would change, and these shards would be the only ones saved.

 

She barely reacted to the flash from the warp pad. Garnet unlaced her fingers and sat up straight again. She glanced to Jasper and said, “I need to talk with you and Lapis.”


	18. Begin Again

The sound of the ocean was soothing, constant calming white noise mingling the feeling of sand under her and saltwater on her feet. Her eyes were closed and Steven and Connie kept talking, and occasionally Lapis would smile, or laugh, or comment on something, but for the most part Amethyst would redirect the conversation and let the ocean Gem rest a little after coming back. She had reformed quickly, although she hadn’t been aware of the time passing. She had still been expecting a fight, and when she came back water from the ocean ripped up in roaring tentacles and thrashed around automatically, a desire to fight and defend that quickly faded back when she saw the two children and the familiar beach far from icy northern snow. So she’d settled and relaxed and waited. Steven wanted to talk about how different she looked, and she did. Connie told her that her face was much better now, and it was. The gouges on her face that had been healing slowly were gone like they’d never been there, her clothing had changed, and she felt different. Better in some ways, the same in others.

 

“Oh, there’s Garnet and Jasper!” Connie said and Lapis opened her eyes to look back to the house. It was an easier movement than she used to have, she would have jerked and whipped around before she actually spent some time with Jasper alone.

 

Amethyst made a face after a moment and added, “They don’t look too happy.”

 

“They really don’t,” Lapis agreed, and she turned back to Connie and Steven. “How about I deal with the bad news? You two go and have fun somewhere, I’ll tell you the important parts later.”

 

“I don’t want to leave you alone again,” Steven frowned. He had been taking the lack of information worse than the others, and from the thin line of Connie’s lips and how drawn together her eyebrows were she wasn’t liking it any better.

 

“I’m not going to be alone,” Lapis said, and when Steven didn’t budge she smiled a little at him. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be right here when you come back. I promise.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Amethyst said as she got up and brushed the sand off her rump. “Let’s go see what Peri’s up to.”

 

Steven and Connie looked at each other, and eventually they got up too. They could go for at least a little while, after all Peridot had absconded with nearly all of the tools that Steven’s room had to offer and seeing what she was actually doing with them would be worth being away for a few minutes. The three of them were still close by enough to hear when Jasper came to sit behind Lapis.

 

“You reformed already.”

 

Lapis leaned back against Jasper and reached back to tug her arm around to hold her around her waist. She still felt strange with the knowledge that Malachite was no longer there, disappointed and a little relieved and confused. Lapis didn’t say any of that yet, though, she simply tucked back against Jasper and said, “I guess I’ve been thinking of how I want things to change for a while now.”

 

Jasper touched Lapis easily, leaning forward against her back gently and pressing her lips to the top of the smaller Gem’s head, kissing navy hair and resting her warm gem against her. Lapis’s clothes had changed, but still gave the same general silhouette as before. The top and skirt were gone, replaced by an empire-waist dress. Her back was still bare around her gem, but the tie at the back of her neck was gone and it was simply a solid strip of fabric keeping the top of her dress in place. Just under her chest was a ribbon tied with a bow that sat just under her gem and gave the impression of the stone sitting on a plush little cushion. From under the ribbon belt the dress fell in numerous small pleats, folded over many times and soft under Jasper’s hand. Lapis’s feet weren’t bare anymore, but they were just barely dressed. A simple sole was held on with ribbons that laced around the Gem’s feet and ankles.

 

“How much do you know about what happened?” Garnet sat down beside the two. Lapis turned some to face her easier and she tucked in close against Jasper as she did so.

 

“After my body disappeared? Just what Steven and Connie told me. Jasper came back and said Malachite had formed, but she shattered,” Lapis said and she paused when her voice shuddered. She shook her head a little and sighed, and continued, “The forced fusions were gone when they got there.”

 

“Amethyst didn’t tell you anything?” Jasper muttered low against Lapis’s hair. The blue Gem just shook her head.

 

“Malachite’s form was unstable because there was something wrong with her gem,” Jasper sighed and kissed the top of Lapis’s head before sitting up a little straighter. “According to Peridot she would have broken no matter what.”

 

“So all of this was for nothing?” Laps frowned and looked to Garnet, “You didn’t see that?”

 

“I saw it,” Garnet answered. “And I told you that in one of the futures I saw her form was too big to contain itself and she was unstable.”

 

“You said you saw more than that,” Lapis said darkly.

 

“And I still do,” Garnet said simply. Lapis stared at her, and then up to Jasper.

 

“Malachite broke into four shards, and Peridot said she could prep one to make sure it would grow right next time,” Jasper said. Lapis looked from Jasper to Garnet, and then back again.

 

“I hadn’t… I didn’t think we could still…” She shifted to sit up too, tucking her knees up. She had just sort of… well, she hadn’t been thinking about it, really. She didn’t want to think of wasted potential, or what she had done being useless, or anything like that. But Lapis had been aware that Malachite was gone, and now? She wasn’t. Malachite was like Lapis had just been a little while ago, locked away in her shard like a dispelled Gem. Still the same potential, her time was simply frozen, but unlike Lapis there was a chance to simply leave the Malachite as it was and stop any further development. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do just yet… and she looked at Garnet again, “Are you here to tell us not to do it again?”

 

Garnet shook her head, “I’m here to ask you to. When Malachite attacked the forced fusions she didn’t just dispel their forms. She broke them along the lines where the two gems were merged together. She was able to undo the experiments done on them.”

 

“How?” Lapis asked. Jasper was watching Garnet too, waiting to hear more, but unfortunately Garnet only had speculations

 

“I don’t know,” Garnet admitted. “It may have something to do with how she removed herself from Jasper. It may be an ability unique to her. It may be because of Jasper’s recovery from corruption. What I do know is that, if Malachite is grown, she will have that ability again. With that ability Malachite will at least give those Gems who were forced to fuse a chance at peace.”

 

Lapis frowned and touched along Jasper’s hand. She dipped her fingers in the little gaps between the bandages and touched over the markings on Jasper’s skin, the marbled dark orange only partially hidden. She’d never actually known what had happened to Jasper, and she wanted to. Lapis spoke softly, “I need to think about it. I think we both do.”

 

Jasper shifted to hold her closer. She didn’t need to think, she knew what she wanted. She hadn’t even thought that Lapis might have changed her mind. She rested her cheek on soft, dark blue hair and nodded, though. If this was the end she’d get past it. There wasn’t anything that could hold her down for too long.

 

“But first,” Lapis said as she leaned back against Jasper again, tucked close into her warm body as the tide went out and left her feet drying on the wet sand, “I promised Steven we weren’t going to leave him out of anything important anymore. I don’t want him to worry.”

 

* * *

 

 

Unsurprisingly to Lapis everyone had an opinion about what Garnet had told her, it ranged from her safety to the danger that growing a fusion could cause by bringing in the mutants towards humans to if it was even practical to try again after the first attempt had been less than stellar. Jasper found it annoying, Lapis could tell in the way she’d tense and how her warmth grew against Lapis’s back. Every so often she’d take Jasper’s hand, slide her thin blue fingers between thick orange ones, and kiss her knuckles through the dark red wrappings on her hand. Jasper would always relax some after the touches, and Lapis smiled at the effect she had on the soldier. She could keep her soothed—or she could let her lose control and start yelling. It was nice to know the option was there, that if she grew too tired of the chatter she could pull away from Jasper and let the Quartz end everything. She’d actually started to consider it before Lapis said she wanted to talk about it privately with Jasper. After that she simply refused to talk about it anymore or listen to anyone else, and her only concession had been to Steven to tell him she’d make sure to stay safe no matter what she chose.

 

It was late when everyone was finally willing to let them be alone, the sun setting and casting orange highlights on Lapis’s face and deep blue shadows under Jasper’s. Lapis had gotten up and tugged Jasper after her to walk with her along the beach when she’d wanted to make it obvious she wanted her privacy, and more often than not there seemed to be someone who was tagging along just within earshot for some reason or another until, finally, they’d all given up. The only one who hadn’t come to bother them was Pearl, and Jasper admitted that she wasn’t even sure she was back from the Forge yet.

 

“The Forge?” Lapis asked as they walked. She had her hand tucked against Jasper’s inner elbow, looking for the world like she needed a bodyguard, but Jasper knew the truth. Lapis had been leading her along with that soft touch, towards the rocky place where the beach ended on the other side of the town from the Temple.

 

“An armory,” Jasper said. “Built into a volcano. I’m surprised it’s still standing after the War, when I was there it wasn’t particularly stable.”

 

“A few thousand years might have weakened the structure,” Lapis smiled and rubbed her fingertips against Jasper’s warm forearm. “And I’m guessing you weren’t being particularly gentle with it if it didn’t seem stable.”

 

“I almost brought it down,” Jasper grinned at that, and Lapis laughed.

 

“You sound proud of that.”

 

“It’s nice to know I haven’t gotten too soft.”

 

They were quiet for a bit, a comfortable silence with Lapis gently leading with a tender touch and Jasper obeying. Some of the frantic need she’d always had when it came to Lapis was gone and she was simply content to follow. If she thought about it long enough, if she lingered on how Lapis felt under her or within it, she could easily be frantic again, but like this it was simply… nice.

 

“What were you doing at an armory?” Lapis asked softly as they came to the edge of the beach. She hesitated, but then stepped over the growing pile of rocks, her feet more protected now than they used to be, but not by much. She managed to find a particularly sharp one with her foot and she reached up to slide her hands around Jasper’s neck, and without having to be told Jasper knew what she wanted and scooped her up into her arms easily.

 

“Getting a weapon,” said Jasper. She nudged her forehead against the smaller Gem’s and in turn Lapis nuzzled against her cheek. “I couldn’t protect you last time, I wanted to make sure that wouldn’t ever happen again.”

 

“I think I want there to be an again. I want to have a daughter with you. Even if Garnet didn't tell us anything else about her, if I didn't know what she could do, I think I'd still want it,” Lapis admitted. She reached up and touched along Jasper’s cheek. “But I need to make sure of something first.”

 

“What do you need?” Jasper’s voice was low and she turned her head to brush her lips against cool blue ones, ready to give her anything in that moment. Anything she could find, or fetch, or break, or build would belong to Lapis if she asked for it.

 

Lapis sighed against her, content in Jasper’s strong arms, warm and safe for the moment with the broad Gem keeping her close and guarded. But there was very little that could really harm Lapis. The forced fusions had only been a threat by managing to dispel her form, it left her surprisingly brittle Gem unprotected by her abilities. But like this? Reformed, and for once sure of herself and what she wanted? She wasn’t in danger, she was a danger, and Lapis was ready to stop running from that fact. She kissed Jasper and when she pulled away just enough she whispered against her mouth.

 

“I need to know that you can tell me no.”


	19. Trust

“What do you mean by that?” Jasper laughed and nudged her gem against Lapis’s cool cheek. “I can tell you no.”

 

“But you don’t, and if you’re not going to stop me how am I supposed to know if I’m doing something wrong? Or right?” Lapis stroked over Jasper’s cheek, tracing her fingers along Jasper’s markings and making the other Gem sigh. “I can do what you want. I know you want someone to fight against, I know you want someone to make you hurt, just a little. But I need to know what’s too little, and what’s too much.”

 

“Why?” Jasper asked. “If I want you to let loose then why do you need to hold back? We’ll both like it.”

 

“Because I’ll like it better when I know I can hold you after and not just your gem, and you’ll like it better when I’m not terrified of myself,” Lapis said as she tugged Jasper’s head down and pressed her forehead against the larger Gem’s. Jasper’s hair, pinker now in the sunset than it ever had been before, fell in a curtain around them both. Even so Lapis lowered her voice to a whisper, “If I’m going to love you I have to trust you.”

 

Jasper opened her mouth, about to say something, then paused and closed her eyes instead. This was… difficult. It was easier to tell Lapis to let loose and know she could handle any damage after the fact. It was harder to actually define what she wanted, to have to specify it instead of letting Lapis do whatever she liked and hoping they’d have the same ideas. A good part of that was because it meant she had to actually think of what she wanted instead of taking what she got.

 

“I want to see you in the water,” Jasper finally said. “Not just in the water, in the ocean. I want to stand on the sea floor and see you where everything is yours, for miles and miles and miles. I want to be part of what’s yours, I want to know I’m there because you want me there.”

 

“How are you going to stop me when we’re under the water?” Lapis murmured softly. She frowned and Jasper opened her eyes to look at her. She kissed her again, a light touch this time.

 

“I don’t need to stop you, I just need to tell you when to stop. Right?”

 

Lapis couldn’t help the small smile, and she nudged closer to kiss her again, “Right. I’ll stop when you tell me to, even if I don’t want to.”

 

“You think you’re not going to want to?”

 

“I know I’m not going to want to,” Lapis laughed. “I love when you’re mine. Completely mine and no one else’s.”

 

Jasper was quiet a moment, then pulled back, her curtain of hair gone and Lapis squinted at the brightness of the nearly set sun. Jasper was looking out over the ocean, and then she looked back down to Lapis, “Show me.”

 

Lapis’s first thought was to tell her no, not now, not here… but why not? They were far from the Temple now, the humans had mostly gone in for the day, and anyone that came out wouldn’t be able to find their way to the bottom of the ocean where they could stay easily. It wasn’t that Lapis didn’t want Jasper, and Jasper clearly wanted her. It was that she’d have to trust Jasper to live up to her word, that she would tell her to stop when stopping was the last thing on Lapis’s mind. But… it was a good moment to try, to see how far Jasper would let her go, or if she would let her go too far. Lapis shifted to tuck against her and nodded, “Carry me, I’ll tell you when we’re deep enough.”

 

Jasper grinned broadly, the last of the light glittering off her teeth, and she stepped into the waves that were lapping at the rocky shore. The truth was they didn’t need to be particularly deep, Lapis could have controlled the water just as well if the surface was just above their heads, but part of her wanted to be deeper. Jasper used her gem to light up the dark sea around them, her hair moving in rippling waves and her feet rising up little clouds of silt and fine sand from the floor below. When the warmth of the light from Jasper’s gem faded Lapis finally raised up a hand. Down deep in the ocean the warmer colors stopped being present. The pink was leeched out of Jasper’s hair and the red of her clothing was gone completely. She was a faded and cool-colored version of herself while Lapis was still as brilliantly blue as she always had been above the surface. Lapis pushed away from Jasper gently and in the water she could float easily. When she unfurled her wings from her gem it was just to better steady herself and they nearly disappeared in the surrounding water. Lapis leaned back, her head tilted up, and she opened her mouth to let what air lingered inside of her escape. Without that she could maintain her buoyancy easier and she looked back down to Jasper.

 

“I don’t know if you can talk underwater,” Lapis said. Under the water her voice had a strange quality to it, as though it was echoing out in all directions, sweet and low and in a way menacing. She leaned in close to Jasper again and murmured against her mouth, “But I want you to try.”

 

Lapis kissed her and Jasper responded hungrily. Jasper was eager and as she relaxed into her control Lapis was too, she pressed close into the kiss and eased Jasper’s full lips apart with her own, then coaxing her to open her mouth by licking over her front teeth. The sudden burst of bubbles when Jasper obeyed startled Lapis and she pulled back, then laughed when the air cleared.

 

“Can you talk?” Lapis asked as she wrapped her arms around Jasper’s neck and held her close. She kissed her gem, her forehead, and Jasper buried her face against Lapis’s thin chest. Lapis felt her move her mouth, and a few weak sounds came out before Jasper finally managed actual words.

 

“Not well…”

 

“Can you say stop?”

 

Jasper slid her hands along Lapis’s thighs and up over her hips under the floating fabric of her pleated dress, and one hand slid along Lapis’s belly slowly. It took a few tries until she could finally say the word clearly, and Lapis had her repeat it a few more times until she was satisfied that Jasper could get it out easily enough.

 

“When you say stop we stop. I can part the ocean and give you air if you need it, and when you’re ready, if you’re ready, we can keep going,” Lapis stroked her fingers through Jasper’s hair to get it out of her face. Jasper grinned and nodded. Lapis smiled back at her and stroked along her face, and with a slight flick of her wrist as she stroked her thumb along a dark marking over Jasper’s cheek chains fastened around Jasper’s wrists. Her arms were pulled back and when she pulled against them the bindings doubled. In the water they were nearly invisible, only a faint outline could be seen when the water moved.

 

“When you fight I’m going to hold you down tighter. I’ll add more and more pressure until you stop moving, or until you tell me to stop,” Lapis kissed her gently as she spoke. She slid her fingertips along Jasper’s neck and over her broad shoulders, pushing the jacket off and down to where the water bindings ended. Jasper pulled against them again and the chains once more doubled, thickly wrapped around her hands, her wrists, her forearms. Lapis slid her hands up over Jasper’s shoulders and to her neck, and under her fingertips a heavy collar formed to weigh down on Jasper’s neck. A chain from the front of the collar wrapped around Lapis’s wrist, and she gave it a tug.

 

“Do you feel that?” Lapis said softly. She waited until Jasper nodded and kissed her gem again, dimming their light for a moment, before she continued. “That means you’re mine. Only mine. You weren’t before, but you are now, and you will be forever.”

 

Jasper parted her lips and Lapis kissed her. She nipped at Jasper’s upper lip, her wings fluttering around them as the motions of the water shifted with Lapis growing arousal. She gave Jasper a moment to speak as she pulled back, and then she was pulling up more restraints. Cuffs on Jasper’s ankles and chains to wrap around her legs up to the knees. Jasper jerked at the bindings and they doubled until she was forced to be still.

 

“Can you still talk?” Lapis asked, still for a moment.

 

“Keep… keep going…” Jasper managed to force out. She grinned at Lapis and Lapis managed to relax a little and smile.

 

“Good,” Lapis kissed Jasper’s cheek and she parted her lips to nip at the dark stripe across Jasper’s cheek. She made the Quartz shiver and Lapis slid her hands along her shoulders and down over Jasper’s ample chest. She touched and stroked through her shirt down to where the cropped top ended and she pulled the fabric up to stroke over skin instead. Lapis curled her fingers a little and water swirled around her fingertips. The water grew colder and hardened into little, sharp claws of ice and she dragged them down Jasper’s chest and over her bare belly. “You’re beautiful like this. My prisoner… my pet…”

 

As her fingers slid lower dark lines followed the created claws, the throb of pain and cold made Jasper squirm and her hands and feet were bound tighter, but the heavy collar around her neck stayed as it was before. Lapis paused when she reached the top of Jasper’s pants, the claws barely touching her skin, and then she was sliding them down again, pressing them into the fabric to tear through it. She cut through Jasper’s pants and the ice claws came off of her fingers, floating up as Lapis slid her hand into what was left of the fabric. She had to settle a little lower now, Jasper was simply too tall to stay over her for too long, but as she settled her feet on the sandy ocean floor Lapis pulled on the chain to Jasper’s collar and brought her in close to lean over her.

 

“I hope you believe me when I say you’re beautiful. You’re all mine, do you have any idea how amazing that is? Your strength is mine, your determination, your love, your body…” Lapis pressed a kiss to Jasper’s bare chest as she slid her fingers along her slit. She felt like she was built a little differently than Lapis, but not by much, and as Lapis stroked her fingers over her she found the firm nub to play with between her fingers gently. It felt like a hard faceted little gemstone under Lapis’s fingers, almost too hard, and Jasper shuddered with a cry that came out only as a whimper in the water. Lapis smiled, it really was different to feel exactly how aroused Jasper was at all of this, and she kept rubbing over her slowly.

 

“You like to take care of me. You touch me, make me come for you, do everything, but this time I want to be the one doing everything. I love your tongue, your fingers, but I want you to love everything I can do, too,” Lapis abandoned the firm, faceted nub to slide her fingers along Jasper’s lower lips again. She parted them gently and she manipulated the water to press against Jasper. Like with the chains and the collar the water gave the feeling of something solid, but this time it was rocking inside of Jasper instead of binding her still. Jasper shuddered and moaned loud even in the water and Lapis smiled. She rocked her hand to press against her a little more firmly, her hand against Jasper’s mound and her fingers spreading her lower lips. Jasper managed to move just a little and the chains around her tightened again. Jasper shuddered against Lapis where he was forced to lean over her, her face nearly buried in dark blue hair, and she made a strangled sound. In moment Lapis paused, the water within Jasper was still, and she looked up at her with an expression that clearly showed she expected the worst.

 

“I…” Jasper had to inhale the seawater deeply and let it out, her body still not quite used to the heavier-than-air substance, but quickly adapting. “I love you…”

 

It may not have been the first reaction most would have, but when Lapis pulled the chain to Jasper’s collar hard and brought her to her knees it was perfect. The chains retightened and bound her to the ocean floor and Lapis stroked through Jasper’s hair to pull her close against her chest. The water moved inside of her again, filled her to where it was nearly too much, ebbed and surged until the Quartz was gasping in water and moaning in the sea. Lapis smiled, she loved the way she responded, she loved the way she felt kneeling down in front of her, she loved the sound of her voice echoing in the dark depths of the ocean just for her.

 

“I love you too,” Lapis murmured into Jasper’s hair. She held her close and she could feel more than hear Jasper moaning against her chest, she could feel every little tremble and jerk of her body as she was taken by the ocean Lapis controlled. When Jasper came, every bit of her tensed and her voice caught between a gasp and a moan, Lapis didn’t stop. She continued the movements, she tightened the chain to the collar around her wrist and pulled Jasper closer to her chest, she made Jasper bury her gemstone between her small breasts and she kissed the top of her head. This part was perfect, Jasper was lost in the feeling of her own pleasure and Lapis wanted to drag it out. She loved this feeling of power, choosing when and how long Jasper would feel like this.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Lapis murmured into Jasper’s hair as it floated on the current and caressed her face. “And you’re all mine.”

 

When Jasper finally whimpered out the word stop Lapis was sorry to see it go, but she relaxed her hold on the water constructs. She held Jasper close and Jasper did the same, murmuring against her chest that she just needed a break, just a couple minutes. Lapis smiled, stroked through her hair, and told her to take as much time as she needed as the glow from Jasper’s gem faded and Lapis replaced it by gradually lighting her own. Her wings became more noticeable in the water as they glowed with the blue light and wrapped around the two of them as they rested on the bottom of the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long pause between the last chapter and this one, life got really busy for a while.


End file.
